Proper Followers

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Go for it!...

Jack wanted to sell some old playstation games so he could buy a spider tank. Spider tanks are the latest must have thing! Jack and some of his school friends went to see the latest Spiderman movie at the weekend, so perhaps spider tanks are something to do with that? Well, I can't get much sense out of Jack at the moment, but I did see another boy with a spider tank and he was riding a bicycle. Anyhow, Jack went along to Gamestation in the local Blockbuster store and the man said he could have £9.00 for two old games but he would need an adult to sanction the deal. So, I went along and filled out my name and address on a sheet of paper and was asked to sign a reciept for a credit note. "Hold on a minute," I said. "I think Jack wanted cash!"
"Oh," said the man, "You'll need two pieces of ID! And it's only £6.00 for cash."
"Ok," I said, searching in my pockets. Eventually, I found my bank debit card and showed it to the man.
He shook his head. "Haven't you got anything else?" He asked.
I put my hand into my pocket again and produced my Blockbuster card. The man shook his head again.
I was about to give up when I found my credit card! This should do it I thought. Wrong again!
"You need two pieces of photo ID!" The man told me.
"Photo what?" I asked.
"Photo ID, a photo driving license and a passport!"
This was getting really embarrassing now, so I made my excuses and dragged Jack out of the store. I never want to go to Gamestation or Blockbuster again!
Cycling is one of those things you would think was so simple to do. You just get on your bike and go, don't you? Well, no! I mean you probably do if you have loads of time or if there's someplace you need to be. But, if you've not got any spare time and you've not got any urgent appointments or pressing engagements to attend... Getting out of the house is nigh on impossible, never mind digging the bike out of the ever increasing pile of BMX machines that seem to be breeding in my hallway. At the moment my Home-made-extra-cycle is at the bottom of the pile. Next comes my Mountain bike, which is wedged in by Jacks BMX! On top of Jack's bike is Jessica's BMX, which is blocked in by Jack's friends bike. On top of the bike pile is Ruth's extra special Puch Mini which I reckon is about forty years old. So, do I move five bikes to get mine out or do I just walk across the street to the corner shop and pay 38pence for the Manchester Evening News? Well, if I cycle up to Piccadilly or St Peter's Square I can get the city centre edition for free! But, by the time I've dug five bikes out of the way and dragged my machine to the front and cycled up to Aytoun Street or Oxford Street or wherever else the newsboy is handing out the freebies, I could have written another chapter of my book! When are we going to get a Moss Side Edition? (free-one) that's what I WANNA KNOW! Come on MEN!

Ok, everybody's heard of Misty's haven't they? You know, Misty's! Misty's Big Adventure! Oh that Misty's, why didn't you say that in the first place then? Well, I just wanted to get you going. Anyhow, I know you all know who Misty's Big Adventure are and you all know who Grandmaster Gareth is! But I bet you didn't know that like many other famous people, Grandmaster Gareth shares my birthday! Well, you do now. Not only that but I used to be Misty's fattest fan! I can't say that any more 'cos I've lost so much weight! Ok, I'm Misty's oldest fan! Sorry to disappoint you, but there was a bloke even older than me at the last gig I went to at the Manchester Academy. So, what is my claim to fame then? Well, I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of the Grandmaster's, sort of... You see Jessica is a friend of Gareth's and Jessica works for my friend Nicola, so you see... we're almost best mates! aren't we? Anyway, I've got all the albums! So, I am Cool with a Capital C! If you get my drift! Who killed the bloody neighbours?

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