PERPENDICULAR EYES
I haven't mentioned this to you before, but it's official, I've got perpendicular eyes! Everyone else, according to Doctor Dreama at the hossie, has horizontal eyes. She did say that perpendicular eyes may well be normal for me, but just in case... she's sending me for loads of tests. So far, I've had two CAT Scans, Six Blood tests, Several eye scans, One chest x-ray, Three Eye photography appointments, a field test and three teams of Doctors from the eye hossie, all baffled by my case. Today, I was introduced to yet another eye specialist and I had my eyes re-examined. The results of the six bloods were negative and I now have to go for a magnetic resonance something or other - a different kind of scan? If they still can't find anything wrong with me, I've got to have a lumbar puncture! How much of an eye-opener is that?
BLOG EYES!
Anyway, talking of eyes and eyesight a Mrs Ackerley from nearby Altrincham has just been issued with night-time contact lenses. The idea is that she will wear them at night and they will correct her eyes and in the morning she will take them out and she will have 20/20 vision! What a great invention. But, like Nicola always says: 'You can't believe everything you read in the Manchester Evening News!' However, if it does work, and Mrs Ackerley says it does, then how about loading the same sort of eye correction treatment onto the computer and we could all improve our vision as we blog!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
It always seems to be someones birthday these days and this week, in fact today, it's my twin brother's birthday! Not that I'm a twin, you understand, but I do have two brothers who are, Henry + Stan! So, H + S, Happy Birthday!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
25/8/1970
Talking of birthdays! When's yours? You see, I do this crazy thing every week where I feature somebody who shares my birthday. This week it is German supermodel + actress Claudia Schiffer. Claudia was born on August 25th just like me and lots of other people, maybe even you? If your birthday just happens to be on 25/8, write in and let me know and I'll give you a BIG write-up on this blog! Anyway, you can clink the link to Claudia's US fansite HERE.
SECOND OPINION
Well, it's been a long day. Since I started writing todays blog, I've been back to the hospital for the MR Scan - It only took about thirty minutes from start to finish but talk about frightening! It was really scary! Why, because of the noise it makes? Not just the noise, but the future fiction aspect of the whole thing as well. I had to lie on this flat bed/table thing and then it moved inside a big tunnel, which seemed to narrow as I entered it head first. "Are you ready?" said a mystery voice. Then without waiting for me to reply, the buzzing noise began! DAR, DAR, DAR! it bellowed incessantly. It was like a very loud electric doorbell with an impatient postman, standing outside in the Manchester rain, pressing it. It went on and on and on. I kept very still as instructed and was glad when the noise finally stopped. However, the mystery voice kicked in again. "We'll have to do it again!" The voice began, "You moved a fraction!" it explained. Then the NOISE!!! started up again.
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER
I don't know about you but I just love cooking! I just love eating + I just love food! But the thing I hate about shopping is all that packaging and worse all that junk food that people have convinced themselves, saves them time. So, when Jack decided he wanted to have Kentucky Fried Chicken from KFC, I wasn't very happy. Eventually, as always, against my better judgement, we went to the local KFC drive-thru place. The first problem was we had to drive to it. (Green Gilbert wouldn't have liked that!) The second problem was, we had to drive past thirty or forty take-aways including six other brands of Southern Fried Chicken before we reached the KFC. Then, problem number three, On reaching the advertised outlet we were confronted with a mystifying amount of choice, there were bargain buckets, variety buckets, childrens menu's etc. And the staff, who I must say were very patient with us, were just as mystified that I/we didn't know what to order as I/we was/were with the conflicting menu.
DEAR KFC,
Sorry Colonel Sanders, the chicken wasn't very nice, I think you might have cooked it too long and oh yes, you left the skin on mine and after I peeled off all that nasty batter stuff that was stuck to it there wasn't really much chicken there, it was mainly bone. But the worst thing was the chips, they were cold and they tasted like cardboard, we had to throw them away. The other thing was, on the menu it said: Two main sides, (how American's that? but I knew what you meant!) the prob was we didn't get them! And we didn't get any napkins or salt or sauce or any clean-up tissues or any ice-cream or pop (soda US) in fact the only thing I felt I got was I felt I got ripped off!
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