The words this week are:
Breach, Ember, and Tentative.
Here's mine:
EMERGENCY !!! EMERGENCY !!!
(PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE)Balderdash fire + brimstone reaction
Radioactive balls of fire emerged...
Emergency please call an ambulance!!!
Ambient temperature? It's pretty cold!
Colder than yesterday when it was hot
Hotter than a cat on a hot tin roof...
Tin roofs take tentative embers to breach
Emergency please call an ambulance !!!
Nine Eleven, (in UK Nine Nine Nine).
Tin roofs take tentative embers to breach
Ambient temperature? It's pretty cold!
Tin roofs take tentative embers to breach
I'm happy if you are with this version
Vision, revision - the building's on fire!
Emergency please call an ambulance!!!
Emergency please call an ambulance!!!
Make way to let the fire crew get through
Balderdash fire + brimstone reaction
Emergency please call an ambulance!!!
Radioactive balls of fire emerged...
19102011/4
You can read the short version of my Extra Special You post HERE
You have conveyed the insanity and uncoordinated panic of an emergency situation...and of ringing the emergency number.
ReplyDeleteIt is exactly like that.
Except down here it is even worse.If someone has fallen off the roof and is unconscious in a pool of blood, the operator wants to know why the person was on the roof and how high the roof is and what your relationship is with the injured and the colour of your eyes and even just thinking about it again makes me curse that moronic maladjusted twisted thick senseless bitch,,Sorry
Thanks Rall, you sound just like the emergency switch!
ReplyDeleteI love the fast-paced flow in this poem, the sense of urgency stressed through the repitition of this oh so clever line-
ReplyDeleteTin roofs take tentative embers to breach
Captured perfectly in words. In gets heated, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteYou have such a unique writing style Andy..you always make me think and :) Jae
ReplyDeleteyou have captured the sheer panic some get in an emergency situation
ReplyDeleteIt moved very fast, and I could feel the stress and anxiety that goes on during an emergency!!
ReplyDeletefiddlesticks and mania.
ReplyDeleteHa! Excellently done -- through the repetition and flow of your words, you convey the feeling of mass panic so well.
ReplyDeleteI think before too much longer there won't be any response to 911 or 999 anymore We are on the fast rack now to wherever this world is headed and there ain't no off switch either.
ReplyDeleteGreat emergency write from you, radioactive balls of fire...indeed...:)
So funny that in you're 3WW you're calling emergency and in mine the characters called the police. We're on the same wavelength.
ReplyDeleteI like the sense of urgency coupled with extraneous details that seem irrelevant to the emergency at hand. Panic is often like that.
ReplyDeleteThis clearly shows that a fire needs a cool head to take control.
ReplyDeleteI recently read the novel "Incendiary" by Chris Cleave. This poem felt like an ideal synopsis of that story. Compelling, for sure.
ReplyDeleteThe suspense is palpable. Great work on the propmt.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you made an acrostic poem from the three given words. The repetition works well and holds the piece together.
ReplyDeleteSense of urgency made me read it in a hurry to finish, good one.
ReplyDelete