Phew!...

ANOTHER NOTCH
Phew! I had to say that, 'cos who knows whether I survived the week or what/not? Well the good news is that I'm still here and the quick weight loss is going to plan. Of course, I knew that it would 'cos I've used this method of reducing three or four times before. That's why, I could stand up and say with great confidence last week that I would lose an incredible amount of weight. And I have. 4kg in fact, which is well over half a British stone. My trouser size has dropped from 36 to 34 and today I had to make an extra hole on my belt.
FOR THE RECORD
Why am I telling you all this nonsence? Because if I tell you - I have to do it! So, you see I really need to lose this excess fat and fast and I have this really quick method at my disposal. My Doctor has forbidden me from doing it, she says that I'll only put all the weight back on. She says that I have to lose the flab slowly and then it will stay off. I'm sorry Doctor Dreama, I haven't got time to weigh out food, count calories, go to weigh-ins, check this and that and walk here and cycle there, I need to lose fat fast.
TENTH PRINTING
Back to the book I told you about last week, I checked the details. The edition I have is the British Pan version of the book and it was in its tenth printing in 1976. The book itself was first published in America in 1967 and the actual title is The Doctors Quick Weight Loss Diet by Irwin Maxwell Stillman, MD and Samm Sinclair Baker. On the front cover of this edition it says MORE THAN THREE MILLION COPIES SOLD WORLDWIDE. Proper Joe's, ok?
CAN'T BE WRONG
Three million people can't be wrong, can they? On the back cover of my copy of this amazing book it says: FROM A PHYSICIAN WHO HAS PERSONALLY HELPED 10,000 PATIENTS LOSE EXCESS WEIGHT EASILY, QUICKLY AND SAFELY. Bring it on, I say. That's exactly what I'm looking for. Now I know that if you've bothered to read this far, you're probably thinking that, I've been well and truly had. That I'm barking up the wrong drain pipe. Or perhaps you're just waiting for me to slip-up.
YO-YO DIET
You're quite right to question whether or not I'm doing the right thing. As I've already told you that I have used this method of reducing in the past and yet here I am once again, fat, miserable and over weight. A terminal no-hoper! A fat over-eater, A yo-yo dieter. Well, you're perfectly entitled to call me what you will! And, you're quite right, I have absolutely no excuse. I know how to lose the weight and I know how to keep it off. The first part is the easy bit. Most people can lose weight easily, the hard bit is keeping it off. That's where I have always failed in the past. So, YES I WILL LOSE ALL THE WEIGHT I WANT, quickly and easily. In fact I've set myself the target of the first of May, MayDay!