Christmas 1960

 

JOYFUL ECSTASY

Above the Barber's shop in Timperley

From the cold attic window in my bedge

I saw the real Santa on his sledge

high up above the rooftops and the hedge

nineteen sixty Christmas Eve I believe

the only day it snowed in the village

I fell in disbelief from my bunk bed

onto the wooden floor and hit my head

I went downstairs to check the Christmas tree

to see if Santa left something for me

One thing I didn't get was the train set

but joyful ecstasy the pedal car

that I longed for to race around the yard

Santa Claus must have read the note I wrote

From the cold attic window in my bedge

Above the Barber's shop in Timperley

06012023

Christmas 2022

 

CHRISTMAS DAY

Born in Bethlehem

It's Christmas day

let's celebrate His birth

He is the bread of life

and he that comes to him

shall never hunger never thirst

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man that's after your own heart

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man that's after your own heart

Hide me Lord

I don't want to be seen

by those who seek to devour me

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of your wings

Hide me

from my deadly enemies

that seek to hunt me down

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of your wings

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man after your own heart

Oh Lord please I plead

Keep me as the apple of your eye

make me the man after your own heart

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of thy wings

He saves them that put their trust in Him

He who created all things

in heaven and on earth

Hide me

under the shadow

under the shadow of thy wings

He is the bread of life

and he that comes to him

shall never hunger never thirst

Born in Bethlehem

It's Christmas day

let's celebrate His birth

25122022

Bottles...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

MENTAL NOTES

Big plans mental notes for all those unfulfilled plans we all have them deep down there somewhere at the back of our minds where we want to do so many things in such a short space of time we really intend to do these things but rarely do do we I've got big plans to build a glass bottle wall and have already collected six one ton builders sand delivery sacks full of the fluming things it nearly killed me drinking all that beer cider red wine and bottles of spirits not to mention the Champagne Cava and Prosecco that I'm not all that partial to but I do like the shape of their bottles and can see them sitting sweet in my wall the other thing I'm planning apart from laying the concrete foundations is building a cutting apparatus to make and shape bottle bricks mental notes big plans

01122022/150

When the sun shines...

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

HIS SOLAR ENERGY

Closing my eyes I try to think of ways to heat the house for free there's a powerful sun up there maybe he will lend me some of his solar energy so here goes I cut into the water supply pipe to the kitchen sink and plumb it to an old central heating radiator which I fix to the outside wall of the house I then plumb another piece of pipe back from the radiator to the tap the idea being that the sun heats up the water in the radiator so I can do the washing up for free at the kitchen sink it works when the sun shines directly however I need to think of something smarter I join some copper pipes together attach them to a piece of plywood I plumb the contraption the same way as the radiator it works better but still not hot enough

03092022/150 

New Stuff V

 Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

(What will you write?)

Here's mine:

GOOSEY GANDER

Priti Patel and Rishi Sunak

they've dealt their way

to the top of the pack

Jokers Jacks Kings and Queens

and now they want to send

everybody else back

If Jesus walked across the sea of Calais he

would be treated like a refugee

bound hand and foot and put

on an air plane to Rwanda

slave trade in the twenty first century

no human rights or lawyers to fight the might

of the minds that rob you blind and tax you out of sight

it's like you've won the lottery in reverse

with the curse of a free flight to Rwanda

and there's nowhere to hide

for the great and the good that washed up with the tide

they'll round them up and call them Goosey Gander

Priti and Rishi must think that

they've got all the aces up their sleeve

in a sick card game of make believe

16062022/150

14th/28

 

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #28

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge

THE WAR ON NEED

Cue camera action stop get back start again there's more celluloid on the cutting room floor than loaded up to this film we're going to go digital if we waste any more and the profits will be cut by half or even more but none of these things will matter much if we can't overcome the war on need the war on greed the war that's banging down our door if we can't afford the fuel to run the vehicles we have and the cooking and heating appliances in our homes what will we do how will we cook the food that we can ill afford how will we heat just one room in our abode how will we find work when millions are on the dole when we don't have the right skills to fulfil the needs of the major employers and what happens when those same companies fold

28042022/150

14th/8

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #8

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge

LIFE GOES ON

Like fireflies they dart about

the motorbikes and tricycles

lighting up the dark

the Jeepney's of course are not running yet

after the Chinese infusion Asian flu it's not

world wide pandemic phew get a vaccine or two and a booster

when they tell you to don't step out of line and you'll be fine

but whose counting any more wear a mask to shop at the store

one each for your cats and dogs too on public transport

but kids under twelve can still go skat free

helter skelter we all fall down

sideways sometimes

but life goes on regardless

although it's good to reminisce

to say you were there on this occasion or that

it doesn't really matter if you missed it

you weren't the only one

so long as someone was there

to share and witness that great match

made in heaven where two became one flesh

08042022/150 

14th/7

 

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #7

& Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge

Here's mine:

INTELLIGENCE

She thought a tonne of concrete

was heavier than a tonne of feathers

how she worked that one out I don't know

but work it out she did and forwarded it

to the board of submissions for a grant to study

for an MA in the field of intelligence and security

at one of the Ivy League Universities

of course there wasn't really such a course available

if there had been she almost definitely

wouldn't have been accepted and as for the grant

that too was a virtual non starter however as a point

of fairness and with the backing of the anti discrimination laws

in that country she was granted an interview regardless

On arrival at the college the chancellor sent one of his quislings

out to the parking lot to make a thorough investigation of the

candidates vehicle her car was a total mess

which disqualified her immediately

07042022/150

14TH/5

 

Napowrimo 2022 DAY #5 & Andy's 150 Word Daily Nonsense Challenge

Here's mine:

BARTER

We don't pay cash

dollars or roubles

for anything these days

everything is trade only and that means

barter to those that are in the know

you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours

if you know the lingo or even if you don't

the bottom line is I do this for you

you do that for me or we can step it up a bit and

introduce something like the Local Exchange Trading System

or the tool and car sharing programmes better still

we could start a community food exchange cooperative

and get all our supermarket needs and wants at no charge

what about dentistry and doctoring and free haircuts for all

you shave my bonce and I'll cut your thatch

pick and mix at the buckshee gobstopper stall

rooms without rent bed and breakfast at no expense

or beer and wine by the bucketful for the chosen few

05042022/150

Gluten free...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

STICKING

(YOU UP)

It's not the rain

or the rice

it's the sticky rain

if anything that kills it

the rain that comes down

bounces off the ground

jumps back up and sticks

like wallpaper paste to your clothes

gluten free it's not

unless it's rice that's falling out of the trees

and sticking you up like a highway robber

which makes me wonder if Robin Hood

and his merry men were merry as in as high as a kite

or if they were simply a bunch of happy chappies

especially when they were filching all those sacks of gold

that you carried stashed in the false bottom of your farmyard cart

anyway that was back in those days and these days it's something 

different we call it currency or paper money

that is of course if you haven't gone cashless

paying for everything by chip and pin

or with a contactless card

04042022/1/150

Get rich quick...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

PAR FOR THE COURSE

Talking nonsense gibberish and such and such who knows which way is up don't hang around they haven't finished with you yet the gets they want to make you buy their get rich quick scam they tell you you can sell it on to make some dough and they already know that three percent of readers will enquire and one of them will buy the dodgy lie but don't invest you'll get a better return in a no interest savings account instead start a new plan think up a new way dream a different dream to what the punters say I wanna buy a mini bus to take the family out in the second highest priced market for used cars they drive on the left side of the truck of course but I guess that that is par for the course talking nonsense gibberish and such and such who knows

01042022/1/150

14th Intro

 

INTRODUCTION

GLOBAL/NAPOWRIMO 2022

MY FOURTEENTH YEAR

Hi Everybody, it's that time again already where you can take the challenge of writing thirty poems (one each day) during the thirty days of April. As always, I would like to take this opportunity to wish each and every participant a very happy and creative Napowrimo. I won't be following Napowrimo prompts this year or fishing for comments, I will simply be posting a poem a day on my StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet bloggage at sewina(dot)blogspot(dot)com

Happy Napowrimo,

Andy

MY INTRODUCTION POEM

Here's mine:

WELCOME TO PARADISE

With the power of love and a sound mind

the children can play outside without fear

Here we go again sideways sometimes

sitting on Brown Sugar Beach

Watching the tide come in

waiting for the two suns to rise

(you have to be up early to see that happen)

up before daylight out before dawn

it's all won or lost by six in the morn

The strawberry scented ocean lapping the shore

never smelt so good as this before

Welcome to Paradise but some people

don't think that way the grass is always greener

on the other side of the pond they tell me

however I know that I know they don't know

For me this Island is the one and only Tiny Tree

the place where I've always been

the place where I will always be

My here and now on Earth taken with a pinch of salt

a hardwood honey dipper dripping honey

onto an overflowing glass of apple wine

stirred and shaken mixed with imagination

Blended into the unreality of time an eternal past

a present and a future shouting bawling screaming

the here and now from the rooftops

So your children and mine can play without fear

with the power of love and a sound mind

30032022/Nairobics

Just dreaming...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

OUR AEROPLANE

Even the toy dogs are laughing at me now

barking mad like the rag dolls in her cupboard

that haven't seen the light of day for decades

snapping at my heels they make me feel sick inside

with worry fear and anxiety it's the not knowing

what they're going to do next that sickens me

will they pounce and if so when

Everything's up in the air except our aeroplane

they already kickstarted the propellers and revved up the engines

but we're stuck on the runway waiting to be cleared for take off

and for the right paperwork to be completed in this age of the computer

The balloon's gone up and a couple of helicopters

there's a drone or two and all those cruise missiles are flying good style

if not exactly the way nature intended certainly the way their designers

had hoped but our aeroplane is still grounded

24032022/150

Driving in Europe...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

MAD MAD THINGS

To continue the Italian theme from last week as promised I will start with a moan about driving in Europe I must explain that in England many of us view Europe as some foreign place where everything is different As far as driving goes it definitely is You see we in England drive on the right hand side of the car and on the left hand side of the road Whereas over there in Europe they mainly drive on the left hand side of the car and the right hand side of the road Funnily enough it has never really bothered me that they the Europeans drive on the wrong side of the road It's just one of those mad mad things that they do and we don't do What does really really really bother me though is the fact that they drive on the wrong side of the CAR

16102007/20032022/150

Manchester towers...

 Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

HERE'S THE KEY

So what does new mean to the people of Manchester is new something that happened today or yesterday how far do we have to go back to find something that we can describe as new the Manchester One Tower is sixty years old that's old in most peoples books but Fraser House across the street is a hundred years older than that so what's new everybody says they love the old Victorian buildings but they hate the new towers that blight the city if only they knew that many of the new towers are not all that new look at the CIS Tower in fact many are older than the people who claim to dislike anything new and here's the key you see if a building for example was built before you were born it is old in the minds of some but if built in their lifetime it's new

19032022/150

Jaw jaw...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

A NEW FANGLED WORLD

We're all worse off than we were before

There ain't no winners in a Mickey Mouse war

It's snowing in Beijing while bombs fall like rain upon Ukraine

Be a good guy to Chou en Lai recall the chant

an' don't forget what Nixon said that Putin's a good guy too

The Siberian holiday camps are Khuilo's not Pontin's

His bullets and bombs masked by Luzhniki Stadium songs

If you're not for us he rants you're against the special operation

Even the Chinese have said it's a difficult situation

With many strands to be untangled yet

There's a new fangled world emerging out of this war

Jaw jaw what a bore if only lives weren't being lost

The Kremlin are playing chess and strategic games

and they don't give a toss they don't know the rules of cricket

They'll only know it's a sticky wicket when they're all caught out

18032022/150

Like Blenkinsopp...

 Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

RUBBER BULLETS

More experts than a betting shop full of punters what time's the next bus from Basrah don't mention the war the mercenaries are already on board rubber bullets are in short supply the cooling towers are overheating what are you going to do when the four minute warning goes up run for your life or stay and fight rubber bullets are in short supply how many tanks does it take to flatten a city how many conscripts to lose their lives for a corrupt cause why die for pie in the sky ideology rubber bullets are in short supply as the ice and snow starts to defrost Russian half track vehicles sink in the mush their freezing cold tanks vulnerable to attack from the Ukraine vigilantes rubber bullets are in short supply collaborators conspiracy theorists fake news false eyelashes blinking like Blenkinsopp social media rubber bullets are in short supply

Andy Sewina (c) 13.03.22

Under the sea...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

MONSTER OF THE DEEP

North America and south of the equator deep down in the oceans far below anything that man can safely see there lives a monster and he's been called the monster of the deep although no living man woman or child has ever seen him let alone asked him what his name might or might not be so how do these stories come about did sailors of old see the monster of the deep or did the monster of the deep reveal himself to them on some occasion or maybe many times who knows nobody really remembers most people sitting at home in front of a warm log fire couldn't give a fig one way or the other however there are one or two people in the world who care and seek the truth about this matter the whole truth and nothing but the truth about the monster of the deep

11032022/1/150

Slightly Football...

 Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

THE NEW MANAGER

As contradictory as a football coach often is when his goalie says I thought the coach was National Express and the number nine thought that Salford Van Hire was a Dutch footballer the actual coach who was in fact the new manager of the team fined them both a weeks wages for their stupidity which didn't stop them from being stupid at all but just meant that they paid less tax that month than the usual amount that they supported the government with as for their income it didn't decrease and they were still able to spend ridiculous amounts of cash on body ink and super fast automobiles at the end of the day they were no worse off than when they started their attempt at stupid banter with the international manager who had recently arrived in the country to accelerate their team to the top of the national league

10032022/2/150

Here's one from yesterday...

 

Andy's 150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

CRACKPOT

She slips and she slides and she glides flip flopping but will she reach the other side crackpot as a concrete ballerina skating on thin ice slipping and sliding flip flopping her way across the frozen waterway only she doesn't know about the cracks made by the kids throwing bricks that will soon be the death of her if she falls through the ice which she will if she doesn't get off that frozen canal quick or reach the opposite bank in a hurry no worry she thinks I'm wearing my padded jacket and my waterproof makeup what could possibly go wrong she starts to sing if I had a bargepole I'd leap across the cut if I had a narrowboat I'd sail it out to sea but I ain't got a bargepole or a narrowboat not me she slips and she slides non stop never reaching the other side

09022022/4/150

Edited version of a 2010 post...

 

Here's an edited version of one I wrote in 2010

150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

SHE KNOWS

She knows that I know that she knows everything about me that I know that I don’t know how I do the things that I do she’s got photographs to prove it and witnesses who’ll swear to it she won’t be happy till she’s got me right where she wants me not that she wants me any more than she wanted that other poor sod who ended up in the same place that she thinks she’s got me going she keeps on calling me she must think that I’m her puppet and that only she can pull my strings but this other girl’s tugging at my heart and begging me to enter her world and she knows that too because she put the thoughts into my head she put the words into my mouth she types the letters that I write she knows that I know that she’s manipulating me

24042+10/25012022

When I remember...

 

150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

EIGHT MINUTES

Eight minutes is a long time to some no time at all to others not everybody can be right can they – eight minutes is three minutes longer than five minutes and two minutes shorter than the the ten minute norm - I wonder only as out loud - photographic memories lost in the library of discontent – although eight minutes is the time it takes to walk half a mile or so and to achieve about two miles give or take a few inches on a bicycle - you can drive a car eight miles at sixty miles per hour or read about two thousand words depending on the content and if your finger hurts – this is not of course a definitive guide to what you can do in eight minutes so don't complain if these things take you longer or less – what can you do in eight minutes - answers on a postcard please

16012022/150

Sounds like something else...

 

150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

SANDCASTLE BEACH

I left a text on your thing that goes ring I'm still waiting for you to reply don't keep me waiting please ding me thingy I really want you to try / cookies ice cream my kind of dreams any thing that you say / I'm sandwich deep on sandcastle beach longing for you to stop by / 'cos if you don't come the picnic's no fun / so give me a ring a ding a ling from your old dog and bone / don't leave me alone I need you with me tonight / don't stay away I want us to be together / walking around and dancing up town or sitting on sandcastle beach / whatever happens I'll always be true you know I'm in love with you / I left another message on your answerphone / for now I'm begging you to come home / don't let me down pretty please I think that I'm starting to cry

12012022/150

No Nonsense...

 

150 word daily nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

ROUND THE BEND

Barking as a mummified dog what went wrong and what's going on in Egypt I think they thought that the dogs were gods when the magic carpets came years ago from Prediluvionia however things aren't like that never have been look at the jelly fish that live forever and the billionaires that are injecting themselves with jelly fish glue does it work I'll let you know in a hundred years or so do unicorns really exist and how did you hide your third eye so no one else would know Stonehenge drives me round the bend and the Ley lines under my house pull me down to the earths core metaphorically speaking I find myself searching the back garden and the forest beyond for buried treasure that the Vikings may or may not have left behind my metal detector starts buzzing but only locates jar lids and rusted tin cans

11012022/1

Open League...

 

150 word nonsense challenge

Here's mine:

NEVER MIND THE FA CUP

Flags flutter stutter utter denial religion on trial football was never so good on TV never mind the FA Cup what about an Open League where any team can play for free against any club from any league imagine me and my Subbuteo team up against Real Madrid and we're losing two nil at half time but I bring a couple of cardboard subs on Roy Race and Alf Tupper (the runner) and before you can say boo to a goose we're three two up and the referee blows her penny whistle for full time fantasy football it's not like I said to the Rugger player if you can't play football just pick up the ball and run there are of course those down under and over the pond and the Irish sea that think that that's more fun flags flutter stutter utter denial football on trial never mind TV

09012022/150

Happy New Year...

 

OTHER METALS

like secret caves under the sea

inexplicable to me

everything different somehow

nothing much is as it seems

cryptic as the day's long now

stale tales visions dreams

whiskies gins the ladies sing

a ragmans ring silver gold

anagrams of other things

other metals bought 'n' sold

treasures lost fortunes found

ciders beers ales and stout

runners riders underground

how do these things come about

inexplicable to me

like secret caves under the sea

03012022/1

2021 #4

 

Napowrimo 2021

Day Four

HELLO AM I EVEN WANTED

Yesterday they told me to fill the machines

today they said don't touch anything or else

sometimes I get really confused about things

they say that I'm being lazy but I do try

The bubble gum machines get very sticky

I asked if I could make them nice and clean

but they told me it wasn't my job to do that

don't touch anything or we'll batter you

You're getting a pay rise - so the maximum amount

will be the minimum wage - they tell me

I used to get plenty more than that

but they didn't raise my wages for ages

Do they need me hello am I even wanted

No we know you know zilch about nothing

04042021

Please note that all my NaPoWriMo posts this year will be published on my Pub Poetry page 'Straight talking Street talking Sweet' at: www.sewina.blogspot.com

 

Shirkers...

 I wrote this one a while ago, but have now rewritten it slightly...

WATCHERS

Clock watchers at Dicks and Becks

the warehouse where they wear cool specs

Then one day shock horror

the clocks were changed for mirrors

Now the shirkers look at one another cold

and watch themselves grow old

230618/07022021

Vile viral virus

 

PHARMASAURUS

There's a new dinosaur in the room

during this vile viral virus

exceptions to the rules apply

Don't throw away the instructions

read the small print

read the very small print twice

Take one tablet a day

for the rest of your life

Two pills twice a day

at breakfast and supper

Don't drink anything fermented

weekdays or weekends

Have you had your flu jab yet

when do you get your vaccination

Are you able to come to the pharmacy

and queue outside in the rain

Don't worry we can send your meds

through the post once you've got the app

Send us your script and your bank details

and authorise us to debit your account

Sit back and enjoy the lockdown it's illegal

to leave your house without good reason

Exceptions to ze rulz apply during

this vile viral virus

There's a new dinosaur in the room

Pharmasaurus

30012021

Something I wrote in April last year...

 LOCKDOWN

The lunatics are running the asylum

Trumpington and Twopence

have no cents sense

The trouble is we're all locked in

locked up

Lockdown not in my town

I'd rather be locked in the pub

drinking beer

whisky

vodka lemonade

But I'm afraid

The lunatics are running the asylum

King Karloff with his brand new prince

Nicola Fish

Haggis dish

cover yer kite in public hen

In Singapore they're building more

hospitals for the rich and poor

'cos they're expecting a second wave

of Coronavirus on their shores

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a pub

and how do you think they got there

through the back door

where they pulled up a chair

the doctor the vicar the undertaker

smoking cigars supping boilermakers

The trouble is we're all locked in

locked up

Lockdown your town too

and the lunatics are running the asylum

29042020

More from 2020...

 

FOR FITS SAKE

They told me at sixteen

You're too young to die

but we don't think you'll make twenty one

definitely not twenty five

In my seventh decade now

fighting fit for fits sake

Walking stick football

forty then forty five

came and went

Attack defence sub

Subbuteo Shove ha'penny

armchair TV

A new millennium

appeared swallowed me up

with all its apps aches

likes and dripping taps

Mobile madness

inbuilt sickness

inane sadness

The fat controller

breaks out Brexit

petit dejeuner demain

flu jab over

covert covid

Hold out your hand

and we'll stab you again

31122020/1

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

NEARLY OVER

Another year kaput

the air borne

mind blown

window pain

No pane of glass

or grain of sand

everything swept

under the rug

to make a fresh start

Even the no mug flies have flown

We alone are caught

in the spiders web

Nearly over

it's not even begun

covid-21

31122020

Coronavirus 10 napowrimo 2020 #1

It's napowrimo time again and my contributions will be posted on

my Straight Talking Street Talking Sweet... bloggage at sewina.blogspot.com

VIRUS INVISIBLE

Happening everywhere under the sun

yellow blue black an' white an' brown stroke red

she may be red but not as dull as dun

an enemy that goes over my head

What will happen if the night sky turns white

and red - unlike the chops upon her cheeks

which way will we delight in her delight

there's nothing I can say although she reeks

This new virus invisible you know

we can't see it or even hear its sound

numbers undertaking all on the go

and lose - how many more will go to ground

Although coronavirus might be rare

it's too early to know how to compare

01042020/SH130