Proper Followers

Sunday, April 04, 2021

2021 #4


Napowrimo 2021

Day Four


Yesterday they told me to fill the machines

today they said don't touch anything or else

sometimes I get really confused about things

they say that I'm being lazy but I do try

The bubble gum machines get very sticky

I asked if I could make them nice and clean

but they told me it wasn't my job to do that

don't touch anything or we'll batter you

You're getting a pay rise - so the maximum amount

will be the minimum wage - they tell me

I used to get plenty more than that

but they didn't raise my wages for ages

Do they need me hello am I even wanted

No we know you know zilch about nothing


Please note that all my NaPoWriMo posts this year will be published on my Pub Poetry page 'Straight talking Street talking Sweet' at:


Sunday, February 07, 2021


 I wrote this one a while ago, but have now rewritten it slightly...

Clock watchers at Dicks and Becks
the warehouse where they wear cool specs
Then one day shock horror
the clocks were changed for mirrors
Now the shirkers look at one another cold
and watch themselves grow old

Saturday, January 30, 2021

Vile viral virus



There's a new dinosaur in the room

during this vile viral virus

exceptions to the rules apply

Don't throw away the instructions

read the small print

read the very small print twice

Take one tablet a day

for the rest of your life

Two pills twice a day

at breakfast and supper

Don't drink anything fermented

weekdays or weekends

Have you had your flu jab yet

when do you get your vaccination

Are you able to come to the pharmacy

and queue outside in the rain

Don't worry we can send your meds

through the post once you've got the app

Send us your script and your bank details

and authorise us to debit your account

Sit back and enjoy the lockdown it's illegal

to leave your house without good reason

Exceptions to ze rulz apply during

this vile viral virus

There's a new dinosaur in the room



Sunday, January 10, 2021

Something I wrote in April last year...


The lunatics are running the asylum
Trumpington and Twopence
have no cents sense

The trouble is we're all locked in
locked up

Lockdown not in my town
I'd rather be locked in the pub
drinking beer
vodka lemonade

But I'm afraid

The lunatics are running the asylum
King Karloff with his brand new prince

Nicola Fish
Haggis dish
cover yer kite in public hen

In Singapore they're building more
hospitals for the rich and poor
'cos they're expecting a second wave
of Coronavirus on their shores

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a pub
and how do you think they got there
through the back door
where they pulled up a chair
the doctor the vicar the undertaker
smoking cigars supping boilermakers

The trouble is we're all locked in
locked up

Lockdown your town too
and the lunatics are running the asylum