LIKE BUSSES
Book launches are like busses, they all seem to come along at the same time. One minute you've got nothing to read and the next you're inundated with requests to buy this book or that novel. We've been to four book launches in recent days and we've still got another two, sorry Suzanne, three to attend before very long. Anyway, I'm not really complaining, after all it's good to get out and about. Isn't it?
THE BARKING THING
We've just got Suzanne's new poetry book, The Barking Thing It's really good and it's published by Bloodaxe you can clink-the-link HERE to review it for yourself. Suzanne is Nicola's twin sister and she is one of the editors of Rain Dog the Manchester based poetry magazine. Okay, we/I've read her book but we haven't been to her book launch yet. I think it is in October at the Manchester Museum, I'll have to give you details nearer the time. In the meantime - buy the book!
TIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE
Don't you just hate running out of time? You're just starting to enjoy yourself and the pub decides to close. You've very nearly finished a project and the electricity goes down. You're just geting into that deep sleep and the alarm clock wakes you up! We've all been there at one time or another. Well? What is all this stuff about time? Does time even exist? Maybe, you need to speak to Steve Taylor, or better still get a copy of his latest book Making Time. I did! But I haven't had much time (pun intended) to read it yet.
NAME DROPPING TIME
Nicola, Jack and I went to the Steve Taylor book launch at a local cricket club, it was a really good evening with entertainment by the way of poetry and song. Steve read the introduction to Making Time and signed and sold a stack of books. In the second half of the evening, we saw the much talented Gary Parkinson perform three songs, one of which was about the former Ancoats pub The Land of Cakes. Manchester writer and prize winning novelist Mark Sullivan hosted the evening, with some really bad boxing promoter style introductions (only joking Mark - you were brilliant!) Next up was copland smith with a mixed bag of poems and songs - I've heard some of his stuff before, and it's just on the edge of brilliance - if you don't know what I mean, do a google search on him! Finally the act we'd all been waiting for, Steve Taylor himself. Steve performed a number of songs, including his version of Dirty Old Town, Dirty Old Time!
TAKE IT EASY
Sometimes, I wish that things would slow right down. Everybody and every thing seems to be in such a rush thesedays. Please slow down! Take it easy! Chill out! What's the hurry? Who are these weird people who phone me up - all the time? I got a call from a guy in Oklahoma today, "I'm just calling people in Europe, to tell them that Jesus loves 'em!" he began. The very next call was from a woman in Jamaica, "Whose that?" she asked "whose that?" I enquired, of her. "Me calling me sister fram Jamaica!" she replied. "I think you've got the wrong number!" I told her. "Me thinks me got the wrong number!" she agreed.
POETRY PAGE
Talking about all these book launches and famous writers and poets in our midst, makes me want to tell you about my very own poetry page. But, I'll warn you, don't get too exited, because I'm NOT famous and I write really bad poetry. Some real poets like Steve Waling, may even call my stuff lightweight. That's okay, I don't mind that. In fact, most of my rhymes are so bad that even I describe them as 'throw away poetry'. I even wrote a poem once that went something like this: Save your replays for tv/ a new thought's what I've come to hear! We were talking about BAD poetry today in the car going to Wythenshawe Park. I said that the worst/best rejection slip I ever got from a publisher was the one that said: This is NOT poetry!
FINALLY? PERHAPS!
Or should that read: Finally! Perhaps? Well, anyway, whatever, you can check out my really BAD poetry page HERE clink-this-link
SPEND, SPEND, SVEN!
I haven't mentioned the blues, for a couple of weeks, but I expect Sven is finally beginning to get the picture. The blues, are of course Manchester City football club and Sven is the ex-England manager, who is now in charge at Eastlands. When I say in charge I mean he is the highly paid employee of City's new owner who is the ex-prime minister of Thailand. If you're reading this blog in Thailand, and I know that a few ex-pats do, you may not know that it is officially DANGEROUS to wear a replica Man City football shirt in Bangkok - not because of maurauding Uni-ted fanatics, Chelsea pensioners, or Arsenal addicts, of which there are plenty, I'm told, in the bars of Krung Thep - but because of the Thaksin connection! This has been a coded message to my readers in thingy, what's it called? Anyhow, you know who you are and why I can't mention this by e-mail... don't you? Next message is to Spend! Sorry to Sven! Spend, Sven, Spend! But you know what they say, don't you? You only get what you pay for!
PARKS, BEAUTIFUL PARKS
I've got this thing about parks, or more properly, perhaps, about beautiful parks. We were in Wythenshawe Park today in south Manchester, the weather was glorious and I got this feeling that I could be absolutely anywhere in the world. It's one of those timeless/placeless feelings that you get from time to time in place to place. Last week I got excactly the same feeling/impression in London's Regents Park. We were with the Shakespearean actor Nick Simons (more name dropping) in the wonderful park and he remarked that 'you could hardly hear the traffic, even though we were surrounded by the city.'
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Well I never!!!
OSCAR'S HOUSE
Over the years Nicola has dragged me to various Oscar Wilde locations but when I started out today I didn't expect to encounter another one. We went to Worthing to visit some old friends of Nicola's and they took us to see the site of the house where Oscar Wilde wrote The Importance of Being Ernest. The house is no longer there, it was demolished in the sixties, but on the side of the apartment block that now stands on the site is a Blue Plaque.
PARIS Etc.
The other places Nic has dragged me to in recent years in the name of research, are Paris, Dublin, Chelsea and Oxford. In Paris we went to Pere La Chaisse cemetery and the Hotel in Rue de Beaux Arts where Oscar Wilde died. In Dublin we discovered Merrion Square and Trinity college. In Chelsea we went to Tite street of course. In Oxford it was Magdelen college. She didn't want to go to Reading Gaol but we did go to Clapham Junction station once... Anyway!
LIVERPOOL 800!!!
The poetry people I was telling you about from Liverpool a couple of weeks back have reached their target of 800 poems! The idea was to collect 800 poems about Liverpool for the eight hundreth aniversary of Liverpool being a city, which they celebrated this week. You can check out their web site HERE if you like and you can also support the baby charity that the eventual book (when published) will donate its profits to. I sent in two or three poems, one was a re-worked found poem of grafitti that I spotted on the Merseyside railway platforms in 1984. The second one I sent was a poem about a friend of mine Frankie Vine, who was found dead at Liverpools Pier Head. Finally, I wrote a third poem specially for Poem 800 called The Amazing Gormley's, which was/is of course about the army of naked men on Crosby beach!
Over the years Nicola has dragged me to various Oscar Wilde locations but when I started out today I didn't expect to encounter another one. We went to Worthing to visit some old friends of Nicola's and they took us to see the site of the house where Oscar Wilde wrote The Importance of Being Ernest. The house is no longer there, it was demolished in the sixties, but on the side of the apartment block that now stands on the site is a Blue Plaque.
PARIS Etc.
The other places Nic has dragged me to in recent years in the name of research, are Paris, Dublin, Chelsea and Oxford. In Paris we went to Pere La Chaisse cemetery and the Hotel in Rue de Beaux Arts where Oscar Wilde died. In Dublin we discovered Merrion Square and Trinity college. In Chelsea we went to Tite street of course. In Oxford it was Magdelen college. She didn't want to go to Reading Gaol but we did go to Clapham Junction station once... Anyway!
LIVERPOOL 800!!!
The poetry people I was telling you about from Liverpool a couple of weeks back have reached their target of 800 poems! The idea was to collect 800 poems about Liverpool for the eight hundreth aniversary of Liverpool being a city, which they celebrated this week. You can check out their web site HERE if you like and you can also support the baby charity that the eventual book (when published) will donate its profits to. I sent in two or three poems, one was a re-worked found poem of grafitti that I spotted on the Merseyside railway platforms in 1984. The second one I sent was a poem about a friend of mine Frankie Vine, who was found dead at Liverpools Pier Head. Finally, I wrote a third poem specially for Poem 800 called The Amazing Gormley's, which was/is of course about the army of naked men on Crosby beach!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Not Tuesday!!!
IT'S MY PARTY
(AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO!)
You would cry too, if it happened to you... do, do, do, do, do!
Yes, you guessed it! It's August 25th. and it's my BIRTHDAY!!! So, I want to take this opportunity to say a BIG Happy Birthday to everyone who shares this special day with me. So, Happy Birthday to Sean Connery, Claudia Schiffer, Elvis Costello, Grandmaster Gareth, Matt Aitken, Ronald Waterreus, Martin Amis, Saint Faustina, Jeff Tweedy, Allan Pinkerton, Billy Ray Cyrus, Rob Halford, Frederic Forsyth and Mia Zapata all of whom I have featured on these pages at one time or another and you can still clink-their-links in my right-hand sidebar. Also Happy Birthday to Gene Simmonds, Tim Burton and anyone else who is celebrating the aniversary of their birth today!
MIMP MY RIDE
I entered the MIMP my Ride competition to design a bumper sticker to make other drivers think about not driving - if you follow me... Anyway, I didn't make the shortlist, so you can't vote for me but you can still take the pledge at MIMP. Which is of course, Manchester is my planet! MIMP are going to save the planet starting with Manchester. So, the sooner you sign up! Anyhow, even though I didn't get through to the public judging bit, you can still read my entry on my pub-poetry blog SweetTalkingGuy!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIMP
Wow! I've just been informed that it is Manchester is my Planet's second birthday TODAY! So, Happy Birthday MIMP! I think it is actually the second aniversary of the pledge being started, which now has over seventeen thousand signatures. But, anyway, Happy August 25th.
SATURDAY NOT TUESDAY
Some very observent people have e-mailed me to tell me that it's not tuesday yet! Thanks for all the correspondence but the reason I'm writing today is because I missed last tuesday. We were camping in Aberystwyth and I couldn't find an internet cafe. I was sent to one place called Costa, but it was closed. What a contrast to this part of Manchester, where we have seven internet cafe's on this street and two libraries within walking distance with free internet access. also, every other telephone box has a computer terminal (last time I checked!). Anyway, Aberystwyth is a very nice town and we had a great time there!
(AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO!)
You would cry too, if it happened to you... do, do, do, do, do!
Yes, you guessed it! It's August 25th. and it's my BIRTHDAY!!! So, I want to take this opportunity to say a BIG Happy Birthday to everyone who shares this special day with me. So, Happy Birthday to Sean Connery, Claudia Schiffer, Elvis Costello, Grandmaster Gareth, Matt Aitken, Ronald Waterreus, Martin Amis, Saint Faustina, Jeff Tweedy, Allan Pinkerton, Billy Ray Cyrus, Rob Halford, Frederic Forsyth and Mia Zapata all of whom I have featured on these pages at one time or another and you can still clink-their-links in my right-hand sidebar. Also Happy Birthday to Gene Simmonds, Tim Burton and anyone else who is celebrating the aniversary of their birth today!
MIMP MY RIDE
I entered the MIMP my Ride competition to design a bumper sticker to make other drivers think about not driving - if you follow me... Anyway, I didn't make the shortlist, so you can't vote for me but you can still take the pledge at MIMP. Which is of course, Manchester is my planet! MIMP are going to save the planet starting with Manchester. So, the sooner you sign up! Anyhow, even though I didn't get through to the public judging bit, you can still read my entry on my pub-poetry blog SweetTalkingGuy!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIMP
Wow! I've just been informed that it is Manchester is my Planet's second birthday TODAY! So, Happy Birthday MIMP! I think it is actually the second aniversary of the pledge being started, which now has over seventeen thousand signatures. But, anyway, Happy August 25th.
SATURDAY NOT TUESDAY
Some very observent people have e-mailed me to tell me that it's not tuesday yet! Thanks for all the correspondence but the reason I'm writing today is because I missed last tuesday. We were camping in Aberystwyth and I couldn't find an internet cafe. I was sent to one place called Costa, but it was closed. What a contrast to this part of Manchester, where we have seven internet cafe's on this street and two libraries within walking distance with free internet access. also, every other telephone box has a computer terminal (last time I checked!). Anyway, Aberystwyth is a very nice town and we had a great time there!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Up in smoke!!!
THE GASPERS!
I was in the local pub the other day, I usually only manage to have a decent drink on high days and holidays i.e Christmas, New Year, weddings and funerals! But Nic went to her Mum's for a couple of nights and when the cat's away... Anyhow, this amazing thing has happened in British pubs, smokers are BANNED! I know that you already realise this - but to see the ban in action, is something else. The gaspers were all huddled outside the back door, precariously balancing on a patio decking, measuring three yards by two (9'x6'). Directly above them was a patio heater to roast their nuts.
SMOKE FREE!!!
Well, There goes I but for the grace of God! I don't jest! Today, August 14 is the second aniversary of the day I finally managed to give up the dreaded weed! Tobacco that is. I know how difficult it is to quit - and I know that I'm the luckiest man in the world. If you're thinking about giving up - just do it! Yes, it hurts for a few days! Yes, you get irrational voices in your head saying "Just have one cigarette - it won't kill you!" But believe me, after a short time you WILL start to feel better. Two years have passed now and I really don't want to start smoking ever again. I guess, I'm not cured, 'cos if I did have the odd cig, I would probably be addicted. So, It's One day at a time, sweet Jesus! What a drag! - If you get my drift!
TAKING THE PLEDGE!
Well it looks like August 14. is one of those landmark days! 'Cos today I took the pledge! No, I didn't join the Temperance Society or the local Methodist Church. I simply joined the environmentalists at MIMP or Manchester is My Planet! Clink-the-link! What a great name! Anyhow, you don't have to live in Manchester to SAVE the PLANET! or even in Greater Manchester. No, you can take the pledge at MIMP - regardless of where you reside! How cool's that? Yeah, and they've got a competition running until friday17th. To design a bumper sticker - to encourage other drivers to leave their car at home. The first prize is a folding bike worth loads of dosh!
SVEN, SPEND, SPEND!
Congratulations! to Sven Goran-Eriksson, City are unbeaten as I write! The DREAM goes on for Sven and the City faithful. Football, is what I'm talking about, also known as Soccer in the US and other places. Here in England we simply call it FOOTBALL 'cos that's what you do, to play the game, you kick the ball with your foot. Other versions of football, like Rugby Union, Rugby League, American Football, Australian Rules, Gaelic Football etc. all involve handling the ball and throwing it as well as kicking it and a funny egg shaped ball. We say: "If you can't play football, just pick up the ball and run!" After all, everybody else does! Don't they Sven?
POETRY PEOPLE!
The Liverpool 800 poetry thing is still going strong and if you can donate a poem about Liverpool, I'm sure they'd love to hear from you. They need to find eight hundred poems before the 800th. aniversary of Liverpool as a city on Aug28th. this year. They're doing pretty well with over six hundred poems already accepted - still they do need nearly 200 more - so if you can help! clink-the-link! I did! You can read my really bad poetry blog HERE! Also, you can see my daft photo, with my performance hat on!
I was in the local pub the other day, I usually only manage to have a decent drink on high days and holidays i.e Christmas, New Year, weddings and funerals! But Nic went to her Mum's for a couple of nights and when the cat's away... Anyhow, this amazing thing has happened in British pubs, smokers are BANNED! I know that you already realise this - but to see the ban in action, is something else. The gaspers were all huddled outside the back door, precariously balancing on a patio decking, measuring three yards by two (9'x6'). Directly above them was a patio heater to roast their nuts.
SMOKE FREE!!!
Well, There goes I but for the grace of God! I don't jest! Today, August 14 is the second aniversary of the day I finally managed to give up the dreaded weed! Tobacco that is. I know how difficult it is to quit - and I know that I'm the luckiest man in the world. If you're thinking about giving up - just do it! Yes, it hurts for a few days! Yes, you get irrational voices in your head saying "Just have one cigarette - it won't kill you!" But believe me, after a short time you WILL start to feel better. Two years have passed now and I really don't want to start smoking ever again. I guess, I'm not cured, 'cos if I did have the odd cig, I would probably be addicted. So, It's One day at a time, sweet Jesus! What a drag! - If you get my drift!
TAKING THE PLEDGE!
Well it looks like August 14. is one of those landmark days! 'Cos today I took the pledge! No, I didn't join the Temperance Society or the local Methodist Church. I simply joined the environmentalists at MIMP or Manchester is My Planet! Clink-the-link! What a great name! Anyhow, you don't have to live in Manchester to SAVE the PLANET! or even in Greater Manchester. No, you can take the pledge at MIMP - regardless of where you reside! How cool's that? Yeah, and they've got a competition running until friday17th. To design a bumper sticker - to encourage other drivers to leave their car at home. The first prize is a folding bike worth loads of dosh!
SVEN, SPEND, SPEND!
Congratulations! to Sven Goran-Eriksson, City are unbeaten as I write! The DREAM goes on for Sven and the City faithful. Football, is what I'm talking about, also known as Soccer in the US and other places. Here in England we simply call it FOOTBALL 'cos that's what you do, to play the game, you kick the ball with your foot. Other versions of football, like Rugby Union, Rugby League, American Football, Australian Rules, Gaelic Football etc. all involve handling the ball and throwing it as well as kicking it and a funny egg shaped ball. We say: "If you can't play football, just pick up the ball and run!" After all, everybody else does! Don't they Sven?
POETRY PEOPLE!
The Liverpool 800 poetry thing is still going strong and if you can donate a poem about Liverpool, I'm sure they'd love to hear from you. They need to find eight hundred poems before the 800th. aniversary of Liverpool as a city on Aug28th. this year. They're doing pretty well with over six hundred poems already accepted - still they do need nearly 200 more - so if you can help! clink-the-link! I did! You can read my really bad poetry blog HERE! Also, you can see my daft photo, with my performance hat on!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
The future is free...
FREE AND EASY
The future is free! That's how simple things should/could and would be... if only the politicians and the business moguls of today knew that simple principle. Instead, they mis-apply it. They know the theory but they don't believe it can work. Take the museum and art gallery fiasco. They (the government) for some reason wanted to make the art galleries and museums free. Great idea! We should be able to go to these places regardless of our income bracket. But, and wait for it! Making them FREE for everybody, every day is/was a BIG mistake. I said at the time and I'll repeat it here, the answer is/was to have a FREE day, one day a week, say Friday!
ON THE BUSES
The London buses are FREE for school children, nice one Ken! Also, it's free to park an electric car in Westminster and not only that but you can even re-charge the batteries for free at several charging points. FREE charging? Nearly a contradiction in terms, oh yes, the congestion charge is also FREE to EV drivers in central London. What a contrast in Manchester, not only is the average wage about half that received in the city of London but we have the added burden of mega privatisation of the buses and trams - which means that as things stand, we can never get FREE transport here as the private bus operators are in business to make a cash profit, which of course then disappears from the region.
OFF THE RAILS
We do have some little FREE buses in the city centre linking the main railway stations. This is a good start, but what we really need in my opinion is a decent railway network - more stations - longer trains - the Altrincham tram link replacing with a proper railway direct to Piccadilly via Deansgate and Oxford Road stations as it used to be in the pre-metrolink days. Then the line could be used properly to bring in park+ride customers from Chester, Northwich and Knutsford. New stations could be built next to the M56 and the M6 with huge car parks... just a thought!
The future is free! That's how simple things should/could and would be... if only the politicians and the business moguls of today knew that simple principle. Instead, they mis-apply it. They know the theory but they don't believe it can work. Take the museum and art gallery fiasco. They (the government) for some reason wanted to make the art galleries and museums free. Great idea! We should be able to go to these places regardless of our income bracket. But, and wait for it! Making them FREE for everybody, every day is/was a BIG mistake. I said at the time and I'll repeat it here, the answer is/was to have a FREE day, one day a week, say Friday!
ON THE BUSES
The London buses are FREE for school children, nice one Ken! Also, it's free to park an electric car in Westminster and not only that but you can even re-charge the batteries for free at several charging points. FREE charging? Nearly a contradiction in terms, oh yes, the congestion charge is also FREE to EV drivers in central London. What a contrast in Manchester, not only is the average wage about half that received in the city of London but we have the added burden of mega privatisation of the buses and trams - which means that as things stand, we can never get FREE transport here as the private bus operators are in business to make a cash profit, which of course then disappears from the region.
OFF THE RAILS
We do have some little FREE buses in the city centre linking the main railway stations. This is a good start, but what we really need in my opinion is a decent railway network - more stations - longer trains - the Altrincham tram link replacing with a proper railway direct to Piccadilly via Deansgate and Oxford Road stations as it used to be in the pre-metrolink days. Then the line could be used properly to bring in park+ride customers from Chester, Northwich and Knutsford. New stations could be built next to the M56 and the M6 with huge car parks... just a thought!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Idiopathic what?
IDIOPATHIC ME!
They say that I might have IIH! The doctors that is! Dream on, doctor Dreama - you see they've done all these daft tests on me and revealed absolutely nothing and the only thing they can do now to prove that there is something wrong with me is to say I might be Idiopathic! That I just might have an uncommon disease called Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension or IIH for short. The problem is, that they can only diagnose this condition by giving me a lumbar puncture and the problem with that is that if they still can't find anything wrong that they will have to give me another one and another one until there is something wrong! And if I let it get that far, there will be something wrong - so, call me an idiot! but I really don't want to know if I'm Idiopathic or not!
WE'RE MAD
We must be mad! we've just come back from WOMAD! The whole thing was a bit of a nightmare - and it really could have been a great festival. It was spoiled for us by the Wiltshire MUD! Not for everybody, some people were quite happy to wallow in the mud and many seemed resigned to it. The mud, however, was impossible for Nicola's wheelchair, we had to drag her backwards through the worst of it and we kept getting stuck. I waded through four inches of the sticky stuff to the Oxfam tent. Oxfam, had provided the stewards for the World of Music Arts and Dance event. "Can you tell me about disabled access to the main outdoor arena?" I asked the man behind the counter.
"Err, yeah! There's a special viewing platform, directly opposite the stage!" he replied.
"Yeah, but how do I get a person in a wheelchair to the viewing platform through four or five inches of sticky thick mud?" I enquired.
"Oh?**!" he started, "Err, you'll have to speak to Mrs Oxfam about that one - she's busy at the moment - but if you can wait!"
I waited and waited but Mrs Oxfam was very busy and I could tell by the general look on everybodies face that it would be impossible to get Nicola in her wheelchair to the viewing area by any other means than the dragging technique through the mud. So, I left the Oxfam tent and made my way back through the sticky stuff to the camping area.
WOMUD
We arrived at the WOMAD Festival at four o'clock on the Thursday afternoon. I had expected a bit of a queue to get into the park and I wasn't wrong, but after about thirty minutes we reached the main gate. We were waved in by an Oxfam official who reassured us that we were in the right place. "Follow that van!" he shouted to us. We did, until the hippy van in front of us suddenly came to an abrupt halt. We stopped behind the van and slowly started to sink into the Wiltshire MUD! Not to worry, a friendly tractor driver appeared from nowhere and towed us to some dry ground. It was then that we realised that we were in the wrong field entirely. So, the nice man and his tractor towed us back to the entrance gate and gave us instructions on how to get to the disabled gate. He said: Make sure you go in the white gate, if you go in the brown gate you'll end up in the wrong place again. So, off we went, back to the back of the ever growing line of vehicles.
THE BROWN GATE
After a short time we reached the queue for the brown gate and this time the local police were directing the traffic. The only trouble was, they wanted all the traffic including us to go in through the brown gate. I explained to the Officer of the law that we had been told by the top tractor driver at the first gate that we needed to enter by the white gate. Reluctantly, the policeman let us continue along the road, informing us that we would probably be turned round and have to re-join the queue. But, what the heck, in for a penney...
THE WHITE GATE
At the white gate things were a little less hectic, a single Oxfam steward greeted us and directed us towards the towing queue. Yes, we had to be towed again. This time across a very muddy field at great speed by an enormous tractor. The time was moving on slowly, it was now about six thirty and the sky had begun to cloud over, we were waiting in our car with the trailer tent attatched in the middle of a muddy field and it looked like rain was going to fall at any moment. Nicola, was desperate for the toilet and I had two young boys in the car, Jack and his friend Dan. The other members of our party, Sheila and Sophie were stuck in traffic on the M4, they still had this adventure to come. Anyway, we eventually got our third and thankfully final tow, to the disabled camping field.
WOMAD
We were allocated a space in the disabled camper van field and with the help of the boys I started to erect the tent. As ever, it was a difficult thing to do, Nicola had to sit around waiting and needless to say, it was dark by the time we actually started. It had taken over four hours to reach the camping field from the time we had arrived and another hour to drag Nic to the Ziggy bathrooms in the next disabled field (there were none in the camper van field) and back. So it was in the dark that we erected the trailer tent, with the ever threatening rain fortunately holding off. The other problem was that Sheila and Sophie had now reached the Park (Charlton Park near Malmesbury in Wiltshire) and had been refused entry because I had their tickets.
MUDDY MAYHEM
I had to leave Jack with Nicola while Dan and I went in search of Sheila and Sophie. The route we took towards the white gate was the reverse of the way we had been towed a couple of hours earlier. Only it was very dark now and our torches didn't offer much illumination. We could see the big house in the distance and we had had a phone call from Sheila to say that she had been towed half-way and she was walking along-side the fence in front of the big house. So, she wasn't far away from us but the thick mud and the ever present threat of being run over by a giant tractor kept us apart for another thirty minutes. We eventually found her and gave her the tickets.
CAMPING
So, by about one thirty am friday morning I finally got Nicola to bed in the trailer tent and Sheila had managed to put up her two-man tent in a small space behind us on the camper-van field. I think Jack was a bit miffed that the bathrooms weren't up to his expectations but neither he nor Dan complained. In fact they seemed to take things remarkably well and just went about their business of settling in. Well, so much for the so called thursday camping it had taken us until the early hours of friday morning to put the tents up and unpack the cars. We were all tired now and just wanted to sleep. There was still a big party going on somewhere in the distance, we could hear the music and the raised voices and the drumming - I was too tired to care, I was filthy dirty, having fallen in the thick wet mud earlier by the big house and the showers weren't working yet in the Ziggy bit... but what the heck?
WORLD OF MUD AND DRUMMING
I woke up with a start, I pressed the button on my watch and it read five am. It was raining outside but it was the generators starting up that had awoken me. Everybody else was asleep and I hoped the rain wouldn't leak into the tent, especially into the boys room as it had done on an earlier expedition to Norfolk at Whit week. That had been a bit of a nightmare and I had spent the following day at the laundry washing and drying the bedding - here, of course at the World of Mud and Drumming there would be nowhere to clean the equipment, so I prayed that the boys stuff would stay dry. Thankfully it did! In fact as the day progressed it became obvious that the rain would stay away.
PETER GABRIEL
Ok, it was friday and everybody had taken to wearing wellington boots except Jack. I had offered to buy him some but for reasons best known to himself he declined. The boys had gone off to explore the festival site so Nic, Sheila and Sophie and I decided to check just how difficult it would be for Nicola to attend the Peter Gabriel concert that evening. At first, things looked quite hopeful, we managed to navigate our way along the plastic tracking to the back of the main stage. However, there was no access to the arena area for a wheelchair and even if there had been we would still have had to wade through a sea of sticky mud to reach the viewing platform. The girls went back along the tracking in search of mystical stalls and I went treking through the muddy mire to the Oxfam tent.
NO JOY
Getting no joy from Mrs Oxfam, I retraced my steps in search of Nic et al. As I made my way back I noticed that a lot of the campers from the Ziggy fields had packed up and were driving along the tracking to the park exit. One lady told me that she had only brought an electric wheelchair and that she kept sinking into the mud and getting stuck. Another wheelchair user informed me that she would have to go home because her husband couldn't push her through the muddy field to the toilets and back. I knew how they felt, it was possible to push a wheelchair on the grass in the disabled camper-van field and across the tent field to the Ziggy loos, the only trouble was the bit between the two fields where you needed to drag the wheelchair backwards through the thick mud. It was ok for me, for now, with plenty of help but not everybody had as many helpers as Nic.
THE GIG
We decided to stay till after the Peter Gabriel gig as Nic really wanted to see him. Sheila and I dragged Nic through the mud bath backwards on two wheels and with a lot of help from a guy in the crowd we managed to install her on the disabled wristband viewing platform a good hour before the great man was due to appear. The show went well, Nic could hear the music and she was wriggling around in Ziggy which I took to be a good sign. It was only after the gig that things became difficult. The mud had started to set, which meant that people were getting stuck in their wellies and falling over forward meaning that their hands and forearms were now also stuck in the mud. It was a ridiculous but perhaps predictable situation.
MALMESBURY TOM
Even though Nic, Sheila and I had enjoyed the Peter Gabriel concert the kids Jack, Daniel and Sophie had got bored after a time and had headed back to the trailer tent. So, it was down to Sheila and I to drag Nic backwards through the mud after the show. We started well, but kept on getting really stuck. Not only were our wellies sticking in the mud now, but there was so much accumulated mud on Ziggy's wheels that Nic was becoming almost too heavy to pull. Enter, Malmesbury Tom, a giant of a man who came to our rescue and insisted in doing the lions share of the pulling/pushing/dragging of Nic through the Wiltshire mud. So, thanks Tom, we really couldn't have managed without you!
SATURDAY
The thud! of the generators woke me at something past five on the saturday morning. I had managed to get to bed by about two thirty, so all in all I probably managed a good three hours sleep. I took advantage of the fact that Nic was sound asleep and headed for the bathrooms. I reached the shower block and there was no-one around apart from a line of Oxfam stewards who were doing god knows what? Later, we made the decision to pack up and go home, it had been just too difficult for Nic in Ziggy. It took most of the morning to pack everything away.
The Oxfam official spokesperson came and informed us that she had recieved a severe rain warning. She said that it was going to rain for twelve hours! The sun was shining as we drove out of the camper-van field. Yes! Amazing, we were actually able to drive out of the field and onto the one way plastic tracking and join the exit queue! When the traffic started moving it took us just four minutes to reach the exit gate and the tarmacadam road. Four hours and three tractors to tow us onto the site and four minutes to exit! Unbelievable!
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They say that I might have IIH! The doctors that is! Dream on, doctor Dreama - you see they've done all these daft tests on me and revealed absolutely nothing and the only thing they can do now to prove that there is something wrong with me is to say I might be Idiopathic! That I just might have an uncommon disease called Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension or IIH for short. The problem is, that they can only diagnose this condition by giving me a lumbar puncture and the problem with that is that if they still can't find anything wrong that they will have to give me another one and another one until there is something wrong! And if I let it get that far, there will be something wrong - so, call me an idiot! but I really don't want to know if I'm Idiopathic or not!
WE'RE MAD
We must be mad! we've just come back from WOMAD! The whole thing was a bit of a nightmare - and it really could have been a great festival. It was spoiled for us by the Wiltshire MUD! Not for everybody, some people were quite happy to wallow in the mud and many seemed resigned to it. The mud, however, was impossible for Nicola's wheelchair, we had to drag her backwards through the worst of it and we kept getting stuck. I waded through four inches of the sticky stuff to the Oxfam tent. Oxfam, had provided the stewards for the World of Music Arts and Dance event. "Can you tell me about disabled access to the main outdoor arena?" I asked the man behind the counter.
"Err, yeah! There's a special viewing platform, directly opposite the stage!" he replied.
"Yeah, but how do I get a person in a wheelchair to the viewing platform through four or five inches of sticky thick mud?" I enquired.
"Oh?**!" he started, "Err, you'll have to speak to Mrs Oxfam about that one - she's busy at the moment - but if you can wait!"
I waited and waited but Mrs Oxfam was very busy and I could tell by the general look on everybodies face that it would be impossible to get Nicola in her wheelchair to the viewing area by any other means than the dragging technique through the mud. So, I left the Oxfam tent and made my way back through the sticky stuff to the camping area.
WOMUD
We arrived at the WOMAD Festival at four o'clock on the Thursday afternoon. I had expected a bit of a queue to get into the park and I wasn't wrong, but after about thirty minutes we reached the main gate. We were waved in by an Oxfam official who reassured us that we were in the right place. "Follow that van!" he shouted to us. We did, until the hippy van in front of us suddenly came to an abrupt halt. We stopped behind the van and slowly started to sink into the Wiltshire MUD! Not to worry, a friendly tractor driver appeared from nowhere and towed us to some dry ground. It was then that we realised that we were in the wrong field entirely. So, the nice man and his tractor towed us back to the entrance gate and gave us instructions on how to get to the disabled gate. He said: Make sure you go in the white gate, if you go in the brown gate you'll end up in the wrong place again. So, off we went, back to the back of the ever growing line of vehicles.
THE BROWN GATE
After a short time we reached the queue for the brown gate and this time the local police were directing the traffic. The only trouble was, they wanted all the traffic including us to go in through the brown gate. I explained to the Officer of the law that we had been told by the top tractor driver at the first gate that we needed to enter by the white gate. Reluctantly, the policeman let us continue along the road, informing us that we would probably be turned round and have to re-join the queue. But, what the heck, in for a penney...
THE WHITE GATE
At the white gate things were a little less hectic, a single Oxfam steward greeted us and directed us towards the towing queue. Yes, we had to be towed again. This time across a very muddy field at great speed by an enormous tractor. The time was moving on slowly, it was now about six thirty and the sky had begun to cloud over, we were waiting in our car with the trailer tent attatched in the middle of a muddy field and it looked like rain was going to fall at any moment. Nicola, was desperate for the toilet and I had two young boys in the car, Jack and his friend Dan. The other members of our party, Sheila and Sophie were stuck in traffic on the M4, they still had this adventure to come. Anyway, we eventually got our third and thankfully final tow, to the disabled camping field.
WOMAD
We were allocated a space in the disabled camper van field and with the help of the boys I started to erect the tent. As ever, it was a difficult thing to do, Nicola had to sit around waiting and needless to say, it was dark by the time we actually started. It had taken over four hours to reach the camping field from the time we had arrived and another hour to drag Nic to the Ziggy bathrooms in the next disabled field (there were none in the camper van field) and back. So it was in the dark that we erected the trailer tent, with the ever threatening rain fortunately holding off. The other problem was that Sheila and Sophie had now reached the Park (Charlton Park near Malmesbury in Wiltshire) and had been refused entry because I had their tickets.
MUDDY MAYHEM
I had to leave Jack with Nicola while Dan and I went in search of Sheila and Sophie. The route we took towards the white gate was the reverse of the way we had been towed a couple of hours earlier. Only it was very dark now and our torches didn't offer much illumination. We could see the big house in the distance and we had had a phone call from Sheila to say that she had been towed half-way and she was walking along-side the fence in front of the big house. So, she wasn't far away from us but the thick mud and the ever present threat of being run over by a giant tractor kept us apart for another thirty minutes. We eventually found her and gave her the tickets.
CAMPING
So, by about one thirty am friday morning I finally got Nicola to bed in the trailer tent and Sheila had managed to put up her two-man tent in a small space behind us on the camper-van field. I think Jack was a bit miffed that the bathrooms weren't up to his expectations but neither he nor Dan complained. In fact they seemed to take things remarkably well and just went about their business of settling in. Well, so much for the so called thursday camping it had taken us until the early hours of friday morning to put the tents up and unpack the cars. We were all tired now and just wanted to sleep. There was still a big party going on somewhere in the distance, we could hear the music and the raised voices and the drumming - I was too tired to care, I was filthy dirty, having fallen in the thick wet mud earlier by the big house and the showers weren't working yet in the Ziggy bit... but what the heck?
WORLD OF MUD AND DRUMMING
I woke up with a start, I pressed the button on my watch and it read five am. It was raining outside but it was the generators starting up that had awoken me. Everybody else was asleep and I hoped the rain wouldn't leak into the tent, especially into the boys room as it had done on an earlier expedition to Norfolk at Whit week. That had been a bit of a nightmare and I had spent the following day at the laundry washing and drying the bedding - here, of course at the World of Mud and Drumming there would be nowhere to clean the equipment, so I prayed that the boys stuff would stay dry. Thankfully it did! In fact as the day progressed it became obvious that the rain would stay away.
PETER GABRIEL
Ok, it was friday and everybody had taken to wearing wellington boots except Jack. I had offered to buy him some but for reasons best known to himself he declined. The boys had gone off to explore the festival site so Nic, Sheila and Sophie and I decided to check just how difficult it would be for Nicola to attend the Peter Gabriel concert that evening. At first, things looked quite hopeful, we managed to navigate our way along the plastic tracking to the back of the main stage. However, there was no access to the arena area for a wheelchair and even if there had been we would still have had to wade through a sea of sticky mud to reach the viewing platform. The girls went back along the tracking in search of mystical stalls and I went treking through the muddy mire to the Oxfam tent.
NO JOY
Getting no joy from Mrs Oxfam, I retraced my steps in search of Nic et al. As I made my way back I noticed that a lot of the campers from the Ziggy fields had packed up and were driving along the tracking to the park exit. One lady told me that she had only brought an electric wheelchair and that she kept sinking into the mud and getting stuck. Another wheelchair user informed me that she would have to go home because her husband couldn't push her through the muddy field to the toilets and back. I knew how they felt, it was possible to push a wheelchair on the grass in the disabled camper-van field and across the tent field to the Ziggy loos, the only trouble was the bit between the two fields where you needed to drag the wheelchair backwards through the thick mud. It was ok for me, for now, with plenty of help but not everybody had as many helpers as Nic.
THE GIG
We decided to stay till after the Peter Gabriel gig as Nic really wanted to see him. Sheila and I dragged Nic through the mud bath backwards on two wheels and with a lot of help from a guy in the crowd we managed to install her on the disabled wristband viewing platform a good hour before the great man was due to appear. The show went well, Nic could hear the music and she was wriggling around in Ziggy which I took to be a good sign. It was only after the gig that things became difficult. The mud had started to set, which meant that people were getting stuck in their wellies and falling over forward meaning that their hands and forearms were now also stuck in the mud. It was a ridiculous but perhaps predictable situation.
MALMESBURY TOM
Even though Nic, Sheila and I had enjoyed the Peter Gabriel concert the kids Jack, Daniel and Sophie had got bored after a time and had headed back to the trailer tent. So, it was down to Sheila and I to drag Nic backwards through the mud after the show. We started well, but kept on getting really stuck. Not only were our wellies sticking in the mud now, but there was so much accumulated mud on Ziggy's wheels that Nic was becoming almost too heavy to pull. Enter, Malmesbury Tom, a giant of a man who came to our rescue and insisted in doing the lions share of the pulling/pushing/dragging of Nic through the Wiltshire mud. So, thanks Tom, we really couldn't have managed without you!
SATURDAY
The thud! of the generators woke me at something past five on the saturday morning. I had managed to get to bed by about two thirty, so all in all I probably managed a good three hours sleep. I took advantage of the fact that Nic was sound asleep and headed for the bathrooms. I reached the shower block and there was no-one around apart from a line of Oxfam stewards who were doing god knows what? Later, we made the decision to pack up and go home, it had been just too difficult for Nic in Ziggy. It took most of the morning to pack everything away.
The Oxfam official spokesperson came and informed us that she had recieved a severe rain warning. She said that it was going to rain for twelve hours! The sun was shining as we drove out of the camper-van field. Yes! Amazing, we were actually able to drive out of the field and onto the one way plastic tracking and join the exit queue! When the traffic started moving it took us just four minutes to reach the exit gate and the tarmacadam road. Four hours and three tractors to tow us onto the site and four minutes to exit! Unbelievable!
You can BOOKMARK THIS PAGE AND clink the link BACK LATER...
PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR SEND ME AN E-MAIL
MY ADDRESS IS ON MY FULL PROFILE PAGE...
THANKS FOR READING Proper Joe's......
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Been there, done that...
TOLLTAX
The debate goes on and the silly are becoming stupid - the blind are leading the blind and congestion madness is just that - MAD! I could say 'I told you so!' but what's the point? Anyhow, I guess I've just said it anyway! And the point is that it was inevitable that not just Manchester would want to charge the motorist for daring to enter it's boundaries but that every other local authority and national institution (motorways/main roads) would follow suit! And lo and behold, it has been revealed today that I was right. Check the road charging story in the Manchester Evening News tonight.
CON JEST ION CON CARRY ON CON CAR NEE ARGEE BARGEE
I've had a look at the so called congestion on the roads of Manchester and my verdict is that the only congestion is a self made congestion. Some of it by ignorance, some of it on purpose. The bus lane fiasco, the blocked off streets, the no left turns, the no right turns, the dodgy one way streets, the over zealous parking restrictions, the roads to nowhere, the Mersey river crossings, the dismantled railway lines, the disused railway tracks, the overgrown railway routes, the railway lines with no stations, the closed railway stations, the metrolink in the wrong place, the metrolink proposals not including a route down Princess road/parkway. The list goes on...
PARK + RIDE
Park and ride has not been tested properly in Manchester, the only schemes I know about run at christmas and close early - just like the buses! Not only that but they run from stupid places like Heaton Park and The Siemens Factory. If you want to get real about tackling the congestion you need to stick the park + ride right out where the polluters come from. You need to take a little look at the map and find the little black lines that run from/to Piccadilly or Victoria or Oxford Road stations and follow them until you reach the M6/M62/M60 motorways etc., then you need to build massive car parks and a railway station at each junction and put up a BIG sign on the motorways that says Manchester Park+Ride. End of problem!
The debate goes on and the silly are becoming stupid - the blind are leading the blind and congestion madness is just that - MAD! I could say 'I told you so!' but what's the point? Anyhow, I guess I've just said it anyway! And the point is that it was inevitable that not just Manchester would want to charge the motorist for daring to enter it's boundaries but that every other local authority and national institution (motorways/main roads) would follow suit! And lo and behold, it has been revealed today that I was right. Check the road charging story in the Manchester Evening News tonight.
CON JEST ION CON CARRY ON CON CAR NEE ARGEE BARGEE
I've had a look at the so called congestion on the roads of Manchester and my verdict is that the only congestion is a self made congestion. Some of it by ignorance, some of it on purpose. The bus lane fiasco, the blocked off streets, the no left turns, the no right turns, the dodgy one way streets, the over zealous parking restrictions, the roads to nowhere, the Mersey river crossings, the dismantled railway lines, the disused railway tracks, the overgrown railway routes, the railway lines with no stations, the closed railway stations, the metrolink in the wrong place, the metrolink proposals not including a route down Princess road/parkway. The list goes on...
PARK + RIDE
Park and ride has not been tested properly in Manchester, the only schemes I know about run at christmas and close early - just like the buses! Not only that but they run from stupid places like Heaton Park and The Siemens Factory. If you want to get real about tackling the congestion you need to stick the park + ride right out where the polluters come from. You need to take a little look at the map and find the little black lines that run from/to Piccadilly or Victoria or Oxford Road stations and follow them until you reach the M6/M62/M60 motorways etc., then you need to build massive car parks and a railway station at each junction and put up a BIG sign on the motorways that says Manchester Park+Ride. End of problem!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
No matter what...
TRANSPORT WHAT?
All this talk about congestion charges/charging who pays what to whom and where and when? The political football that this issue has become needs kicking into touch. I've said it before and I'll repeat it here - Manchester is nowhere near ready for congestion charging. Let's get it right! Congestion charging isn't just another tax on the poor little hard pressed driver. 1) It is a detterent - You might as well put up a sign that says: CLOSED FOR BUSINESS! 2) If Peter drives into the city to work and Paul takes the bus, isn't congestion charging just another way of robbing Peter to pay Paul? 3) The Metrolink needs a re-think, Fifty million pounds per mile to construct is way too much. In the early 1970's Manchester rejected the Picc-Vic Underground Railway (Piccadilly station to Victoria station) because the five million pound quote was deemed too much. 4) What happens to all the money anyway? It certainly doesn't physically cost fifty million pounds to construct a mile of tram track. In fact if you give me a million pounds I'll get a couple of the lads out of the pub and we'll do the first mile for you!
PRAWN SANDWICH SYNDROME
No matter what you say or do as an unknown individual, you'll most likely find that anything you do say or do, will be disregarded or at best treated as a hill of beans. Roy Keane, on the other hand, as a well known international footballer (and captain of Manchester Uni-ted, at the time) came up with his famous prawn sandwich quote. I mention it here and credit the new Sunderland manager with the thought behind it because it pretty much sums up what is happening in Manchester today. Take the International Festival we've been having in the city the past couple of weeks - great if you can afford tickets to the events - but don't worry if you can't - 'cos the prawn sandwich brigade can! Sounds a bit like all this nonsense about congestion charging, doesn't it? Don't worry if you can't find an extra fiver or so a day to pay the tolltax from your minimum wage job - 'Cos the prawn sandwich mob will pay that much and more gladly, to drive on a clear street!
CONGESTION CON CANNY
We took Jack and his friend and Jessica (Nic's helper) to Alton Towers at the weekend. It was saturday and everybody was prepared for rain but the tickets were booked and at that price (moaning about money again!) there was no going back. As it turned out the weather was wonderful and everybody actually got a little sunburned. Anyway, if you're driving from Manchester, it's a pain of a place to get to, it's not very far - less than an hours drive - but once you get past Leek the roads get a bit thin and guess what? Congested with coaches, cars and mini-busses! Sounds like a certain local council's view of the Manchester rush hour, only this is rural Staffordshire, although quaint, it ain't! So, you drive forty-five minutes out of the uncongested city, clear a couple of towns - Macclesfield and Leek - no traffic on the A roads - everythings fine - then, just as the sun starts to shine and you're just six miles from your BIG day out - You hit traffic, slow moving coaches, cars and mini-busses packed with excited children stuck behind a blooming red-deisel guzzeling TRACTOR! Not the farmers fault, he's just going about his business of making hay while the sun shines - you can't blame him, can you?
So, six miles up the road and another forty-five minutes later you arrive at the main gates to Alton Towers, only to be confronted by another traffic jam, and you guessed it, A congestion charge. The first thing you see is the notice that reads: car park £4.00 and the massive queue of vehicles waiting to get in it. But they're canny these experienced congestion conners, they know that parents are tearing their hair out, in the fronts of exited kid packed cars, they know that nobody likes queues, and that desperate people (and prawn sandwich types) will do (pay) almost anything to beat the system. So, what do the clever theme park operators do? (Manchester, take note!) They make a queue busting filter lane to a priority car park and charge you £10.00 how's that for a canny con?
MOVE IT TO MANCHESTER
Here's a little two-in-one idea for you. I've mentioned Pomona, part of the former Manchester docks on the ship canal before. The area is mostly in Trafford borough, some of it is in the city of Manchester, and the north bank of the canal is in the city of Salford, so politically it is a hot potato. The problem is, it is a post industrial dump and nobody seems to be interested in developing the site. I have heard rumours about some kind of waterfront style city park and also a year or so ago now, I read that three or four residential towers, in the manner of a ships sails, were to be built on Pomona Strand, but we're still waiting! Well, here's my idea - build your city park + and an amusement park with all the latest rides - it's in an ideal place, transport wise, as so many railway routes already run through the area and there are the overhead metrolink stations at Cornbrook and Pomona. Why should the good people of Greater Manchester have to travel to congested Staffordshire or up to Blackpool to ride a roller coaster? Do the green thing and move it to Manchester!!!
All this talk about congestion charges/charging who pays what to whom and where and when? The political football that this issue has become needs kicking into touch. I've said it before and I'll repeat it here - Manchester is nowhere near ready for congestion charging. Let's get it right! Congestion charging isn't just another tax on the poor little hard pressed driver. 1) It is a detterent - You might as well put up a sign that says: CLOSED FOR BUSINESS! 2) If Peter drives into the city to work and Paul takes the bus, isn't congestion charging just another way of robbing Peter to pay Paul? 3) The Metrolink needs a re-think, Fifty million pounds per mile to construct is way too much. In the early 1970's Manchester rejected the Picc-Vic Underground Railway (Piccadilly station to Victoria station) because the five million pound quote was deemed too much. 4) What happens to all the money anyway? It certainly doesn't physically cost fifty million pounds to construct a mile of tram track. In fact if you give me a million pounds I'll get a couple of the lads out of the pub and we'll do the first mile for you!
PRAWN SANDWICH SYNDROME
No matter what you say or do as an unknown individual, you'll most likely find that anything you do say or do, will be disregarded or at best treated as a hill of beans. Roy Keane, on the other hand, as a well known international footballer (and captain of Manchester Uni-ted, at the time) came up with his famous prawn sandwich quote. I mention it here and credit the new Sunderland manager with the thought behind it because it pretty much sums up what is happening in Manchester today. Take the International Festival we've been having in the city the past couple of weeks - great if you can afford tickets to the events - but don't worry if you can't - 'cos the prawn sandwich brigade can! Sounds a bit like all this nonsense about congestion charging, doesn't it? Don't worry if you can't find an extra fiver or so a day to pay the tolltax from your minimum wage job - 'Cos the prawn sandwich mob will pay that much and more gladly, to drive on a clear street!
CONGESTION CON CANNY
We took Jack and his friend and Jessica (Nic's helper) to Alton Towers at the weekend. It was saturday and everybody was prepared for rain but the tickets were booked and at that price (moaning about money again!) there was no going back. As it turned out the weather was wonderful and everybody actually got a little sunburned. Anyway, if you're driving from Manchester, it's a pain of a place to get to, it's not very far - less than an hours drive - but once you get past Leek the roads get a bit thin and guess what? Congested with coaches, cars and mini-busses! Sounds like a certain local council's view of the Manchester rush hour, only this is rural Staffordshire, although quaint, it ain't! So, you drive forty-five minutes out of the uncongested city, clear a couple of towns - Macclesfield and Leek - no traffic on the A roads - everythings fine - then, just as the sun starts to shine and you're just six miles from your BIG day out - You hit traffic, slow moving coaches, cars and mini-busses packed with excited children stuck behind a blooming red-deisel guzzeling TRACTOR! Not the farmers fault, he's just going about his business of making hay while the sun shines - you can't blame him, can you?
So, six miles up the road and another forty-five minutes later you arrive at the main gates to Alton Towers, only to be confronted by another traffic jam, and you guessed it, A congestion charge. The first thing you see is the notice that reads: car park £4.00 and the massive queue of vehicles waiting to get in it. But they're canny these experienced congestion conners, they know that parents are tearing their hair out, in the fronts of exited kid packed cars, they know that nobody likes queues, and that desperate people (and prawn sandwich types) will do (pay) almost anything to beat the system. So, what do the clever theme park operators do? (Manchester, take note!) They make a queue busting filter lane to a priority car park and charge you £10.00 how's that for a canny con?
MOVE IT TO MANCHESTER
Here's a little two-in-one idea for you. I've mentioned Pomona, part of the former Manchester docks on the ship canal before. The area is mostly in Trafford borough, some of it is in the city of Manchester, and the north bank of the canal is in the city of Salford, so politically it is a hot potato. The problem is, it is a post industrial dump and nobody seems to be interested in developing the site. I have heard rumours about some kind of waterfront style city park and also a year or so ago now, I read that three or four residential towers, in the manner of a ships sails, were to be built on Pomona Strand, but we're still waiting! Well, here's my idea - build your city park + and an amusement park with all the latest rides - it's in an ideal place, transport wise, as so many railway routes already run through the area and there are the overhead metrolink stations at Cornbrook and Pomona. Why should the good people of Greater Manchester have to travel to congested Staffordshire or up to Blackpool to ride a roller coaster? Do the green thing and move it to Manchester!!!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Use it or lose it...
MOP MAD!
First of all a BIG thank you to Freda! Not only did she send me the Vileda Super Mocio to try but she also sent me an even better/deeper wringing/and cheaper version, 'The Asda Kitchen Mop Bucket + Wringer' in cream and blue, for the super bargain price at Asda Walmart (at Manchester Eastlands) of just £1.82
So, it's mop bucket city at our house these days. I've got the Asda Kitchen Mop Bucket in the bathroom - The Vileda Super Mocio in the utility room - The Addis divider bucket, minus wringer, but complete with Magic Mop in the kitchen - The proffesional/industrial contract/hospital style bucket with long-handle wringer and castor wheels complete with wide style/industrial mop is now in the back yard waiting to be freecycled.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!
Guess what? It's Jack's birthday tomorrow and he's going to be FOURTEEN! Can you believe it? So, what's he getting for pressies? Loads of money and book tokens so far and a trip to Alton Towers and a Chinese Meal at a place in China Town. Oh yes, and he's got/getting lots of war gaming stuff (his latest obsession) just recently he's been busy glueing fantasy warriors together and painting them. It all started with his Grandad (Nic's Dad) taking him to the War Gaming Club. Okay, what else? Oh yeah, he wants to buy a weight lifting bench and weights with his b'day money. He wants the latest Harry Potter book and he's going to the movies on Sunday with Aunty Suzanne (Nic's sister). So, he's got a busy birthday week - and on the school front he's going to an art gallery in Sheffield! Phew!
MOVE IT TO MANCHESTER!!!
Well, they keep on coming don't they! Sven-Goran Eriksson being the latest big name to arrive in the city. He's going to take Man City (the football club) up to the top of the Premiership where they belong and he's going to bring in some big name players with plenty of fire-power, oh yeah, and they're going to win the FA cup! Next year they'll be playing in Europe and they'll win the European Cup! The following season they'll sign a couple of new players and they'll win the treble! Nice one Sven, trouble is - we've heard it all before!
MONO WHAT?
I was reading in the local paper a letter from a guy proposing a Monorail system for Manchester. Great idea! We can apply for it, there's nothing to stop us from dreaming that one day the powers that be will wake up and actually fund a reliable public transport alternative for this city region. City what? City region, I said, notice how you start to pick up the political speak when you start dabbling in transportation issues! (transportation? how American sounding is that?) Anyway, a monorail right down the middle of Princess Parkway/road from the Airport to Manchester Central (formerly G-Mex, originally Central Station) would be a good start. Of course it doesn't have to be a monorail, it could be a Metrolink tram, or a dedicated busway, or just a couple of bendy-buses, of course if we/they were really adventurous we/they could dig up the old street tram lines which are still buried under the central reservation and save us all a few bob!
CONGESTION CON!
Seriously though, this congestion charge nonsense is way out of control - It's a political thing and nothing you or I can say about the matter will make an ounce of difference. Nobody I know wants it, that's about all I can say, if you want to pay an extra grand a year or more to drive into this city at the peak period then write in and let me know, please! Because what the political odd bods don't/won't tell you is that sticking an extra/unfair road charge/tax on the people of Greater Manchester is only the beginning. Yes, this is to be the testing ground for the provinces and if people are daft enough to pay the charge here then they (central government/every local authority) will soon introduce the same thing to your neck of the woods. So, if for instance you work in Manchester and live in Liverpool you will quite likely need to pay not one congestion charge but two or three. You see, Liverpool will charge you because you live there, Manchester will charge you because you work there and of course Warrington will have to charge you for driving through their borough twice a day during the rush hour. By the time all this happens (in a couple of weeks?) there'll be a toll on the Motorway as well, so driving out of Manchester you'll have to pay the M602 toll then the M62 toll and if you use the M56 and M60 you'll need to pay their tolls too. Don't toll booths cause congestion?
RAILWAYS
Of course the real solution to all of our problems transport wise in the Manchester area is to re-instate the railways. Doesn't it make you mad driving round this city and seeing all those dismantled railway lines. The Victorians had the right idea, the roads were clogged up with horse and carts but no-one was bothered because they were all on the train! The trouble is, these days the train tracks have been dismantled and even where we have nice train lines we don't have any blooming stations! Mad? It gets madder! Take Wythenshawe for instance, a third of the population of the whole of the city of Manchester lives in Wythenshawe and there's not even a direct bus service to the city centre (more about that later!) There is however, a nice railway line that runs right through the middle of Wythenshawe, but there are no stations on it. The said railway line or should that be sad railway line links up with the metrolink interchange at Altrincham and runs through Stockport to Manchester Piccadilly in the opposite direction. It also crosses a couple of other strategic routes where interchange stations could be created, not least, the airport line.
MORE NEXT TIME, COMMENTS WELCOME! ALL E-MAILS WILL BE ANSWERED!
First of all a BIG thank you to Freda! Not only did she send me the Vileda Super Mocio to try but she also sent me an even better/deeper wringing/and cheaper version, 'The Asda Kitchen Mop Bucket + Wringer' in cream and blue, for the super bargain price at Asda Walmart (at Manchester Eastlands) of just £1.82
So, it's mop bucket city at our house these days. I've got the Asda Kitchen Mop Bucket in the bathroom - The Vileda Super Mocio in the utility room - The Addis divider bucket, minus wringer, but complete with Magic Mop in the kitchen - The proffesional/industrial contract/hospital style bucket with long-handle wringer and castor wheels complete with wide style/industrial mop is now in the back yard waiting to be freecycled.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK!
Guess what? It's Jack's birthday tomorrow and he's going to be FOURTEEN! Can you believe it? So, what's he getting for pressies? Loads of money and book tokens so far and a trip to Alton Towers and a Chinese Meal at a place in China Town. Oh yes, and he's got/getting lots of war gaming stuff (his latest obsession) just recently he's been busy glueing fantasy warriors together and painting them. It all started with his Grandad (Nic's Dad) taking him to the War Gaming Club. Okay, what else? Oh yeah, he wants to buy a weight lifting bench and weights with his b'day money. He wants the latest Harry Potter book and he's going to the movies on Sunday with Aunty Suzanne (Nic's sister). So, he's got a busy birthday week - and on the school front he's going to an art gallery in Sheffield! Phew!
MOVE IT TO MANCHESTER!!!
Well, they keep on coming don't they! Sven-Goran Eriksson being the latest big name to arrive in the city. He's going to take Man City (the football club) up to the top of the Premiership where they belong and he's going to bring in some big name players with plenty of fire-power, oh yeah, and they're going to win the FA cup! Next year they'll be playing in Europe and they'll win the European Cup! The following season they'll sign a couple of new players and they'll win the treble! Nice one Sven, trouble is - we've heard it all before!
MONO WHAT?
I was reading in the local paper a letter from a guy proposing a Monorail system for Manchester. Great idea! We can apply for it, there's nothing to stop us from dreaming that one day the powers that be will wake up and actually fund a reliable public transport alternative for this city region. City what? City region, I said, notice how you start to pick up the political speak when you start dabbling in transportation issues! (transportation? how American sounding is that?) Anyway, a monorail right down the middle of Princess Parkway/road from the Airport to Manchester Central (formerly G-Mex, originally Central Station) would be a good start. Of course it doesn't have to be a monorail, it could be a Metrolink tram, or a dedicated busway, or just a couple of bendy-buses, of course if we/they were really adventurous we/they could dig up the old street tram lines which are still buried under the central reservation and save us all a few bob!
CONGESTION CON!
Seriously though, this congestion charge nonsense is way out of control - It's a political thing and nothing you or I can say about the matter will make an ounce of difference. Nobody I know wants it, that's about all I can say, if you want to pay an extra grand a year or more to drive into this city at the peak period then write in and let me know, please! Because what the political odd bods don't/won't tell you is that sticking an extra/unfair road charge/tax on the people of Greater Manchester is only the beginning. Yes, this is to be the testing ground for the provinces and if people are daft enough to pay the charge here then they (central government/every local authority) will soon introduce the same thing to your neck of the woods. So, if for instance you work in Manchester and live in Liverpool you will quite likely need to pay not one congestion charge but two or three. You see, Liverpool will charge you because you live there, Manchester will charge you because you work there and of course Warrington will have to charge you for driving through their borough twice a day during the rush hour. By the time all this happens (in a couple of weeks?) there'll be a toll on the Motorway as well, so driving out of Manchester you'll have to pay the M602 toll then the M62 toll and if you use the M56 and M60 you'll need to pay their tolls too. Don't toll booths cause congestion?
RAILWAYS
Of course the real solution to all of our problems transport wise in the Manchester area is to re-instate the railways. Doesn't it make you mad driving round this city and seeing all those dismantled railway lines. The Victorians had the right idea, the roads were clogged up with horse and carts but no-one was bothered because they were all on the train! The trouble is, these days the train tracks have been dismantled and even where we have nice train lines we don't have any blooming stations! Mad? It gets madder! Take Wythenshawe for instance, a third of the population of the whole of the city of Manchester lives in Wythenshawe and there's not even a direct bus service to the city centre (more about that later!) There is however, a nice railway line that runs right through the middle of Wythenshawe, but there are no stations on it. The said railway line or should that be sad railway line links up with the metrolink interchange at Altrincham and runs through Stockport to Manchester Piccadilly in the opposite direction. It also crosses a couple of other strategic routes where interchange stations could be created, not least, the airport line.
MORE NEXT TIME, COMMENTS WELCOME! ALL E-MAILS WILL BE ANSWERED!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Keep on talking...
LIVERPOOL EIGHT HUNDRED
Not many people know this but on August 28th. The city of Liverpool will be celebrating it's eight hundreth aniversary. To mark the event several groups of poets are doing different things, one group is asking local poets to contribute a line to an eight hundred line poem another group is looking for 800 poems to make an anthology http://www.poem800.com/ I even sent in a couple of verses myself which they have accepted. I wrote a third Liverpool poem this week on the strength of it, my new piece is called The Amazing Gormley's and is of course about the naked men on Crosby beach. After completing this one I realised that a Merseyside collection was/is on the cards as I also have a poem about Southport A Limited Sea and another one about the Wirral somewhere!
GREEN GILBERT
We re-cycle everything these days and you'd think the powers that be would at least try to make it easier for people to do just that. But what a kerfuffle all this re-cycling thing is becoming. "We don't take cardboard mate!" said the re-cycling collector, "There's too many different types you see, and a lot of it's covered in that plastic stuff, it's a sort of wax or summit! ain't it? Anyway, we can't tek it!" He continued. Which got me to thinking that forty odd years ago things were much simpler - we recycled cardboard then without even knowing that that was what we were doing. I remember, I worked at the local Maypole store, stacking shelves and stuff after school and once a week we had a big cardboard collection. A man with a van would come and take all the flattened boxes away - I think they had to be not only flattened but put into a forty-eight dozen size egg box. Anyway, how green's that? Not only did we re-cycle cardboard but all glass bottles had a refund price attached to them - remember the milk bottles? rinse and return! Also, pop bottles had a deposit on them as did things like soda fountains that you could get from the off license in those days. And what about all those bring+buy sales? Yes, we've been re-cycling for a long time!
MISSISIPPI MUD PIE
It was Ruth's birthday yesterday and we made Missisippi Mud Pie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH! Don't you just love cooking? Well, it can be fun! I like making fridge cakes - you do a bit of cooking but you don't bake 'em in the oven - you just slam 'em in the fridge! And Missisippi Mud Pie is the favorite one that I like to make. It all started about twelve years ago. We used to go to a Pizza take-away on Wilmslow Road, one of those student places the other side of Platt Fields Park from the curry mile. It was an Italien place in those days and they used to flop the pizza dough about New York style and make up the pizzas to-order in the window of the shop and a crowd would always watch as the man worked. Anyway, we used to go down on a friday night and get in the queue (it was always busy) and after we'd ordered the pizza the Italian man would say "What you want for your pudding? Hah! I know what you likes! You wants the Missisippi Mud Pie! No?" So, I used to buy the sticky stuff for £1 a slice - every week. Of course one thing led to another and we got the recipe to make it ourselves which was lucky 'cos not long after that the take-away was taken over by a non Italien family and guess what? they stopped selling fridge cakes!
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER!
Last week under this sub-title in this column in this blog on your computer I wrote about Mops! Mop buckets to be precise - Well, thank you for the two e-mails one from anonymous and the other one from Freda. The first one said: I think it's a Vileda you're looking for! And Freda said: It's called a Super Mocio and they're about a fiver! And I wrote back to Freda and said: Can you send me one? I'm still waiting of course, but I did find that my local Asda actually sells them and they cost £4.97 the only trouble is they're so popular that Asda is constantly out-of-stock! Sometimes you just can't win, can you? If you want one, and I reccomend them, they're called Super Mocio (thanks Freda) and yes, anonymous they're made by Vileda!
Not many people know this but on August 28th. The city of Liverpool will be celebrating it's eight hundreth aniversary. To mark the event several groups of poets are doing different things, one group is asking local poets to contribute a line to an eight hundred line poem another group is looking for 800 poems to make an anthology http://www.poem800.com/ I even sent in a couple of verses myself which they have accepted. I wrote a third Liverpool poem this week on the strength of it, my new piece is called The Amazing Gormley's and is of course about the naked men on Crosby beach. After completing this one I realised that a Merseyside collection was/is on the cards as I also have a poem about Southport A Limited Sea and another one about the Wirral somewhere!
GREEN GILBERT
We re-cycle everything these days and you'd think the powers that be would at least try to make it easier for people to do just that. But what a kerfuffle all this re-cycling thing is becoming. "We don't take cardboard mate!" said the re-cycling collector, "There's too many different types you see, and a lot of it's covered in that plastic stuff, it's a sort of wax or summit! ain't it? Anyway, we can't tek it!" He continued. Which got me to thinking that forty odd years ago things were much simpler - we recycled cardboard then without even knowing that that was what we were doing. I remember, I worked at the local Maypole store, stacking shelves and stuff after school and once a week we had a big cardboard collection. A man with a van would come and take all the flattened boxes away - I think they had to be not only flattened but put into a forty-eight dozen size egg box. Anyway, how green's that? Not only did we re-cycle cardboard but all glass bottles had a refund price attached to them - remember the milk bottles? rinse and return! Also, pop bottles had a deposit on them as did things like soda fountains that you could get from the off license in those days. And what about all those bring+buy sales? Yes, we've been re-cycling for a long time!
MISSISIPPI MUD PIE
It was Ruth's birthday yesterday and we made Missisippi Mud Pie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUTH! Don't you just love cooking? Well, it can be fun! I like making fridge cakes - you do a bit of cooking but you don't bake 'em in the oven - you just slam 'em in the fridge! And Missisippi Mud Pie is the favorite one that I like to make. It all started about twelve years ago. We used to go to a Pizza take-away on Wilmslow Road, one of those student places the other side of Platt Fields Park from the curry mile. It was an Italien place in those days and they used to flop the pizza dough about New York style and make up the pizzas to-order in the window of the shop and a crowd would always watch as the man worked. Anyway, we used to go down on a friday night and get in the queue (it was always busy) and after we'd ordered the pizza the Italian man would say "What you want for your pudding? Hah! I know what you likes! You wants the Missisippi Mud Pie! No?" So, I used to buy the sticky stuff for £1 a slice - every week. Of course one thing led to another and we got the recipe to make it ourselves which was lucky 'cos not long after that the take-away was taken over by a non Italien family and guess what? they stopped selling fridge cakes!
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER!
Last week under this sub-title in this column in this blog on your computer I wrote about Mops! Mop buckets to be precise - Well, thank you for the two e-mails one from anonymous and the other one from Freda. The first one said: I think it's a Vileda you're looking for! And Freda said: It's called a Super Mocio and they're about a fiver! And I wrote back to Freda and said: Can you send me one? I'm still waiting of course, but I did find that my local Asda actually sells them and they cost £4.97 the only trouble is they're so popular that Asda is constantly out-of-stock! Sometimes you just can't win, can you? If you want one, and I reccomend them, they're called Super Mocio (thanks Freda) and yes, anonymous they're made by Vileda!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wise words...
SCRAP INCOME TAX
Honest, I met this bloke down the pub the other day and he was a ringer for Gordon Brown. I asked him what he was going to do when he became Prime Minister? And, do you know what he said, he said: "I'm going to scrap income tax!" I suppose you could call it the 'sit' campaign, or better still 'The sit in the pub all day and dream up daft ideas campaign!' Which would of course really be 'The sit pad ad up i' campaign.
ANYWAY
What do I know? Not a lot, these days, it would appear. But life/things go on and nothing stays the same for long. Take the weather! Yes, honestly, you can have it, take it away - take it back to your neck of the woods, I/we don't want it. This is meant to be summer but all we seem to get these last few days/weeks in this town is RAIN! However, the rain is a sort of blessing in disguise, because I'm doing jobs around the house at present - a little decorating - fixing - repairing stuff - decluttering - etc. and if it was sunny outside, I'd be really mad, at missing it!
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER
I'm a terrible shopper, so I appologise in advance to shopkeepers everywhere. I usually take/make about three trips to the shops before I make a purchase. You see, my problem is, that the shops don't stock the things I want/need. So, shopping becomes a compromise, I usually end up buying something that will do the job - but not the product I was looking for. Mops! for example, I need really good quality mops and buckets to keep my bathroom floor the way I want it. I already have a professional mop bucket with a lever to squeeze the mop - but I don't like it because even though it wrings out pretty well - it mixes the dirty water back into the clean water - so you end up washing the floor with smelly water. So, I bought one of those buckets with a divider - clean water in one side - dirty wrung out smelly water in the other side. Great idea, but the actual wringer bit thingy that comes/came with it is detachable/loseable and yes if I'm honest, it's lost. But I still use the divider bucket with one of those magic mops that are like a sponge on a stick with a squashy lever that wrings the sponge bone dry. But when we went camping in Norfolk recently, I came across the most fantastic mop bucket - however, the only thing I can tell you about it is it was red and it had a really deep wringer thingy that fantastically wrang out the mop. I want one - but of course nobody sells them - the shop keepers think I'm stupid - I'm wasting their time. I'm MYSTIFIED!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
25/8
MARTIN AMIS 1949
Well, it has to be Martin Amis this week after mentioning him last time. Yes another writer and a prolific one at that. You can clink the link to the Martin Amis web site.
Honest, I met this bloke down the pub the other day and he was a ringer for Gordon Brown. I asked him what he was going to do when he became Prime Minister? And, do you know what he said, he said: "I'm going to scrap income tax!" I suppose you could call it the 'sit' campaign, or better still 'The sit in the pub all day and dream up daft ideas campaign!' Which would of course really be 'The sit pad ad up i' campaign.
ANYWAY
What do I know? Not a lot, these days, it would appear. But life/things go on and nothing stays the same for long. Take the weather! Yes, honestly, you can have it, take it away - take it back to your neck of the woods, I/we don't want it. This is meant to be summer but all we seem to get these last few days/weeks in this town is RAIN! However, the rain is a sort of blessing in disguise, because I'm doing jobs around the house at present - a little decorating - fixing - repairing stuff - decluttering - etc. and if it was sunny outside, I'd be really mad, at missing it!
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER
I'm a terrible shopper, so I appologise in advance to shopkeepers everywhere. I usually take/make about three trips to the shops before I make a purchase. You see, my problem is, that the shops don't stock the things I want/need. So, shopping becomes a compromise, I usually end up buying something that will do the job - but not the product I was looking for. Mops! for example, I need really good quality mops and buckets to keep my bathroom floor the way I want it. I already have a professional mop bucket with a lever to squeeze the mop - but I don't like it because even though it wrings out pretty well - it mixes the dirty water back into the clean water - so you end up washing the floor with smelly water. So, I bought one of those buckets with a divider - clean water in one side - dirty wrung out smelly water in the other side. Great idea, but the actual wringer bit thingy that comes/came with it is detachable/loseable and yes if I'm honest, it's lost. But I still use the divider bucket with one of those magic mops that are like a sponge on a stick with a squashy lever that wrings the sponge bone dry. But when we went camping in Norfolk recently, I came across the most fantastic mop bucket - however, the only thing I can tell you about it is it was red and it had a really deep wringer thingy that fantastically wrang out the mop. I want one - but of course nobody sells them - the shop keepers think I'm stupid - I'm wasting their time. I'm MYSTIFIED!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
25/8
MARTIN AMIS 1949
Well, it has to be Martin Amis this week after mentioning him last time. Yes another writer and a prolific one at that. You can clink the link to the Martin Amis web site.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Hot and cold...
WET WEDNESDAY
Well, that's what's forecast for tomorrow anyway. It makes you wonder about all this talk of global warming sometimes. The weather here has been nice, some days, but not others. In fact if you were to ask the proverbial man in the street about the weather he would say, it's back to normal. Normal in these parts means rain!
BERNARD MANNING
The comedian Bernard Manning is dead! He died this week in a North Manchester hospital, close to his home, aged seventy six.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
25/8 UPDATE...
Last week I mooted 'Move it to Manchester' and guess what? Writer and shared birthday fellow Martin Amis, I just read in the local paper, is moving to Manchester to lecture at the University! How quick was that?
FOOTBALL
I don't think I've had a footballer (soccer player) sharing a birthday with me before, but this week I'm going to feature Dutch International and ex Man City goalkeeper Ronald Waterreus, remember him? Well, he only played a couple of games for City, in the league cup and none in the league before moving on to Rangers of Glasgow. I believe he is playing out his career in the United States these days but he is getting on a bit now in footballing terms, being born on 25/8/1970. Most of the stuff on the web about him is in Dutch or current stuff from America, so I'll give you a simple English link to clink - clink the link.
Well, that's what's forecast for tomorrow anyway. It makes you wonder about all this talk of global warming sometimes. The weather here has been nice, some days, but not others. In fact if you were to ask the proverbial man in the street about the weather he would say, it's back to normal. Normal in these parts means rain!
BERNARD MANNING
The comedian Bernard Manning is dead! He died this week in a North Manchester hospital, close to his home, aged seventy six.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
25/8 UPDATE...
Last week I mooted 'Move it to Manchester' and guess what? Writer and shared birthday fellow Martin Amis, I just read in the local paper, is moving to Manchester to lecture at the University! How quick was that?
FOOTBALL
I don't think I've had a footballer (soccer player) sharing a birthday with me before, but this week I'm going to feature Dutch International and ex Man City goalkeeper Ronald Waterreus, remember him? Well, he only played a couple of games for City, in the league cup and none in the league before moving on to Rangers of Glasgow. I believe he is playing out his career in the United States these days but he is getting on a bit now in footballing terms, being born on 25/8/1970. Most of the stuff on the web about him is in Dutch or current stuff from America, so I'll give you a simple English link to clink - clink the link.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Back on track! ...
NEARLY NEARLY
Well it's back to normal after a couple of hairy scary weeks! Well, nearly! When I say normal, I really mean EXCITING! I mean, it is isn't it? To think that I'm sitting here and you're sitting there in your comfortable chair and you're reading what I'm writing. How normal's that? Anyway, on with the blog! First off, apologies to all those people who clinked this link the last couple of weeks and came up empty. You may have noticed the sub heading now says: Nearly Every Tuesday as that is more accurate than the previous one. So, nearly, nearly? No, not really!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
25/8/1956 MATT AITKEN
This week in this section of this blog. Songwriter Matt Aitken of Scott, Aitken + Waterman fame, was born on my birthday in the year 1956. You can clink the link to find out more about him, but you might have to do a google search yourself - try the Scott, Aitken + Waterman site. Anyway, if you share my birthday - August 25 you can write in and let me know! And I'll give you a BIG write-up!
NEW CHALLENGE?
This is not really a political blog, although I do get on me pulpit sometimes. So, I'm just going to suggest a couple of little things for anybody else who wants to run with the ball, so to speak. The first one is: Move It To Manchester! If you've got a business or a great business idea/plan, then where better to develop it than this fair city? Move it to Manchester - you won't be sorry! The second thing I wanted to say was: SIT! Scrap Income Tax! Imagine that? Well it could be a reality, I have it on good authority that the powers that be are considering just that. However, it won't be such a bonus as you might think - 'cos they also have big plans to increase sales tax and VAT and to introduce a local sales tax.
MORE NEXT WEEK!
Well it's back to normal after a couple of hairy scary weeks! Well, nearly! When I say normal, I really mean EXCITING! I mean, it is isn't it? To think that I'm sitting here and you're sitting there in your comfortable chair and you're reading what I'm writing. How normal's that? Anyway, on with the blog! First off, apologies to all those people who clinked this link the last couple of weeks and came up empty. You may have noticed the sub heading now says: Nearly Every Tuesday as that is more accurate than the previous one. So, nearly, nearly? No, not really!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
25/8/1956 MATT AITKEN
This week in this section of this blog. Songwriter Matt Aitken of Scott, Aitken + Waterman fame, was born on my birthday in the year 1956. You can clink the link to find out more about him, but you might have to do a google search yourself - try the Scott, Aitken + Waterman site. Anyway, if you share my birthday - August 25 you can write in and let me know! And I'll give you a BIG write-up!
NEW CHALLENGE?
This is not really a political blog, although I do get on me pulpit sometimes. So, I'm just going to suggest a couple of little things for anybody else who wants to run with the ball, so to speak. The first one is: Move It To Manchester! If you've got a business or a great business idea/plan, then where better to develop it than this fair city? Move it to Manchester - you won't be sorry! The second thing I wanted to say was: SIT! Scrap Income Tax! Imagine that? Well it could be a reality, I have it on good authority that the powers that be are considering just that. However, it won't be such a bonus as you might think - 'cos they also have big plans to increase sales tax and VAT and to introduce a local sales tax.
MORE NEXT WEEK!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Fast Forward...
MONO WHAT?
I was reading in the local paper a letter from a guy proposing a Monorail system for Manchester. Great idea! We can apply for it, there's nothing to stop us from dreaming that one day the powers that be will wake up and actually fund a reliable public transport alternative for this city region. City what? City region, I said, notice how you start to pick up the political speak when you start dabbling in transportation issues! (transportation? how American sounding is that?) Anyway, a monorail right down the middle of Princess Parkway/road from the Airport to Manchester Central (formerly G-Mex, originally Central Station) would be a good start. Of course it doesn't have to be a monorail, it could be a Metrolink tram, or a dedicated busway, or just a couple of bendy-buses, of course if we/they were really adventurous we/they could dig up the old street tram lines which are still buried under the central reservation and save us all a few bob!
CONGESTION CON!
Seriously though, this congestion charge nonsense is way out of control - It's a political thing and nothing you or I can say about the matter will make an ounce of difference. Nobody I know wants it, that's about all I can say, if you want to pay an extra grand a year or more to drive into this city at the peak period then write in and let me know, please! Because what the political odd bods don't/won't tell you is that sticking an extra/unfair road charge/tax on the people of Greater Manchester is only the beginning. Yes, this is to be the testing ground for the provinces and if people are daft enough to pay the charge here then they (central government/every local authority) will soon introduce the same thing to your neck of the woods. So, if for instance you work in Manchester and live in Liverpool you will quite likely need to pay not one congestion charge but two or three. You see, Liverpool will charge you because you live there, Manchester will charge you because you work there and of course Warrington will have to charge you for driving through their borough twice a day during the rush hour. By the time all this happens (in a couple of weeks?) there'll be a toll on the Motorway as well, so driving out of Manchester you'll have to pay the M602 toll then the M62 toll and if you use the M56 and M60 you'll need to pay their tolls too. Don't toll booths cause congestion?
RAILWAYS
Of course the real solution to all of our problems transport wise in the Manchester area is to re-instate the railways. Doesn't it make you mad driving round this city and seeing all those dismantled railway lines. The Victorians had the right idea, the roads were clogged up with horse and carts but no-one was bothered because they were all on the train! The trouble is, these days the train tracks have been dismantled and even where we have nice train lines we don't have any blooming stations! Mad? It gets madder! Take Wythenshawe for instance, a third of the population of the whole of the city of Manchester lives in Wythenshawe and there's not even a direct bus service to the city centre (more about that later!) There is however, a nice railway line that runs right through the middle of Wythenshawe, but there are no stations on it. The said railway line or should that be sad railway line links up with the metrolink interchange at Altrincham and runs through Stockport to Manchester Piccadilly in the opposite direction. It also crosses a couple of other strategic routes where interchange stations could be created, not least, the airport line.
WEIRD WEB
Well, things have gone weird again on the web. This computer is running really slow and in general things aren't the way they should be. Weird Web! I had to miss posting to this and other blogs last Tuesday and today, I've tried changing the heading from every Tuesday to nearly every Tuesday but so far it still reads every Tuesday. Hopefully by the time you actually read this posting I'll have got it right.
I was reading in the local paper a letter from a guy proposing a Monorail system for Manchester. Great idea! We can apply for it, there's nothing to stop us from dreaming that one day the powers that be will wake up and actually fund a reliable public transport alternative for this city region. City what? City region, I said, notice how you start to pick up the political speak when you start dabbling in transportation issues! (transportation? how American sounding is that?) Anyway, a monorail right down the middle of Princess Parkway/road from the Airport to Manchester Central (formerly G-Mex, originally Central Station) would be a good start. Of course it doesn't have to be a monorail, it could be a Metrolink tram, or a dedicated busway, or just a couple of bendy-buses, of course if we/they were really adventurous we/they could dig up the old street tram lines which are still buried under the central reservation and save us all a few bob!
CONGESTION CON!
Seriously though, this congestion charge nonsense is way out of control - It's a political thing and nothing you or I can say about the matter will make an ounce of difference. Nobody I know wants it, that's about all I can say, if you want to pay an extra grand a year or more to drive into this city at the peak period then write in and let me know, please! Because what the political odd bods don't/won't tell you is that sticking an extra/unfair road charge/tax on the people of Greater Manchester is only the beginning. Yes, this is to be the testing ground for the provinces and if people are daft enough to pay the charge here then they (central government/every local authority) will soon introduce the same thing to your neck of the woods. So, if for instance you work in Manchester and live in Liverpool you will quite likely need to pay not one congestion charge but two or three. You see, Liverpool will charge you because you live there, Manchester will charge you because you work there and of course Warrington will have to charge you for driving through their borough twice a day during the rush hour. By the time all this happens (in a couple of weeks?) there'll be a toll on the Motorway as well, so driving out of Manchester you'll have to pay the M602 toll then the M62 toll and if you use the M56 and M60 you'll need to pay their tolls too. Don't toll booths cause congestion?
RAILWAYS
Of course the real solution to all of our problems transport wise in the Manchester area is to re-instate the railways. Doesn't it make you mad driving round this city and seeing all those dismantled railway lines. The Victorians had the right idea, the roads were clogged up with horse and carts but no-one was bothered because they were all on the train! The trouble is, these days the train tracks have been dismantled and even where we have nice train lines we don't have any blooming stations! Mad? It gets madder! Take Wythenshawe for instance, a third of the population of the whole of the city of Manchester lives in Wythenshawe and there's not even a direct bus service to the city centre (more about that later!) There is however, a nice railway line that runs right through the middle of Wythenshawe, but there are no stations on it. The said railway line or should that be sad railway line links up with the metrolink interchange at Altrincham and runs through Stockport to Manchester Piccadilly in the opposite direction. It also crosses a couple of other strategic routes where interchange stations could be created, not least, the airport line.
WEIRD WEB
Well, things have gone weird again on the web. This computer is running really slow and in general things aren't the way they should be. Weird Web! I had to miss posting to this and other blogs last Tuesday and today, I've tried changing the heading from every Tuesday to nearly every Tuesday but so far it still reads every Tuesday. Hopefully by the time you actually read this posting I'll have got it right.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
More questions than answers?...
EVERYBODY!
Everybody knows better than me about everything! It doesn't matter what I do or say, I'm wrong! and everybody else is right! You see, all these other people are more important than me. They've got everything figured out - and what they believe in is true/definite/immovable. My opinion, simply doesn't matter. They just don't have time to listen! they don't care! They know all the answers - they know better than me!
DOCTOR DREAMA
I hate going to the doctor's... It's not that I don't like my doctor - I do! It's just that, well, er, I feel that I'm wasting her time. You see, it's usually something quite insignificant that takes me in search of medical help. So, I've been limiting myself to essential visits only, and so far this year I've only been to the surgery for an appointment once - and that was only because my optician sent me posthaste with a letter. The letter from the eye-man to my doctor was then expanded upon and sent on to the eye hospital and that's where I met Doctor Dreama.
THE PLOT THICKENS
Now, to set the record straight, Doctor Dreama isn't just one particular doctor. And yes, I have used the name in the past, as regular readers of this bloggage may well recall. I use the name now, because since my initial appointment at the eye-hossie I've seen at least six different doctors in three different departments, who all claim to be baffled by my perpendicular eyes, as reported on these pages last week. Well, there has been a development this week, no, I haven't got the results of my chest x-ray or the verdict from my MR scan yet. But, something happened this week that made me think that the conglomorate Doctor Dreama may just know something that I don't - a bit like everybody else, really!
SEVERE CRAMP
I had been out in the back-yard all afternoon washing down some equipment with a hosepipe and an assortment of cloths + sponges. I was wearing my new wellies (knee-high rubber boots) and my jeans were stuffed into the top of them. After a while, I started to get a bit of a tingling pins + needles feeling in my right knee. At first I thought little of it, I had experienced a similar sensation on a dozen occasions before. This time, however, the tingling didn't go away, it got worse. By the time I had finished my work in the yard, my right leg had pretty much seized up. It took me a while to get my boot off and then a few minutes further of exercising my leg before embarking upon my next mission - making pizza!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
25/8/1930
SIR SEAN CONNERY
Birthdays are a funny old thing.
Jack shares his birthday with his schoolfriend Justyn, who is exactly one year younger.
My nephew, little Andy has two kids, born on the same day - one year apart!
Which brings me to Sean Connery - Sean was born on August 25 - just a couple of decades or so before me. I think we'll feature Sir Sean Connery this week. After all, they don't come much more famous than him! do they? You can clink-the-link HERE.
Everybody knows better than me about everything! It doesn't matter what I do or say, I'm wrong! and everybody else is right! You see, all these other people are more important than me. They've got everything figured out - and what they believe in is true/definite/immovable. My opinion, simply doesn't matter. They just don't have time to listen! they don't care! They know all the answers - they know better than me!
DOCTOR DREAMA
I hate going to the doctor's... It's not that I don't like my doctor - I do! It's just that, well, er, I feel that I'm wasting her time. You see, it's usually something quite insignificant that takes me in search of medical help. So, I've been limiting myself to essential visits only, and so far this year I've only been to the surgery for an appointment once - and that was only because my optician sent me posthaste with a letter. The letter from the eye-man to my doctor was then expanded upon and sent on to the eye hospital and that's where I met Doctor Dreama.
THE PLOT THICKENS
Now, to set the record straight, Doctor Dreama isn't just one particular doctor. And yes, I have used the name in the past, as regular readers of this bloggage may well recall. I use the name now, because since my initial appointment at the eye-hossie I've seen at least six different doctors in three different departments, who all claim to be baffled by my perpendicular eyes, as reported on these pages last week. Well, there has been a development this week, no, I haven't got the results of my chest x-ray or the verdict from my MR scan yet. But, something happened this week that made me think that the conglomorate Doctor Dreama may just know something that I don't - a bit like everybody else, really!
SEVERE CRAMP
I had been out in the back-yard all afternoon washing down some equipment with a hosepipe and an assortment of cloths + sponges. I was wearing my new wellies (knee-high rubber boots) and my jeans were stuffed into the top of them. After a while, I started to get a bit of a tingling pins + needles feeling in my right knee. At first I thought little of it, I had experienced a similar sensation on a dozen occasions before. This time, however, the tingling didn't go away, it got worse. By the time I had finished my work in the yard, my right leg had pretty much seized up. It took me a while to get my boot off and then a few minutes further of exercising my leg before embarking upon my next mission - making pizza!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
25/8/1930
SIR SEAN CONNERY
Birthdays are a funny old thing.
Jack shares his birthday with his schoolfriend Justyn, who is exactly one year younger.
My nephew, little Andy has two kids, born on the same day - one year apart!
Which brings me to Sean Connery - Sean was born on August 25 - just a couple of decades or so before me. I think we'll feature Sir Sean Connery this week. After all, they don't come much more famous than him! do they? You can clink-the-link HERE.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Keep it up...
PERPENDICULAR EYES
I haven't mentioned this to you before, but it's official, I've got perpendicular eyes! Everyone else, according to Doctor Dreama at the hossie, has horizontal eyes. She did say that perpendicular eyes may well be normal for me, but just in case... she's sending me for loads of tests. So far, I've had two CAT Scans, Six Blood tests, Several eye scans, One chest x-ray, Three Eye photography appointments, a field test and three teams of Doctors from the eye hossie, all baffled by my case. Today, I was introduced to yet another eye specialist and I had my eyes re-examined. The results of the six bloods were negative and I now have to go for a magnetic resonance something or other - a different kind of scan? If they still can't find anything wrong with me, I've got to have a lumbar puncture! How much of an eye-opener is that?
BLOG EYES!
Anyway, talking of eyes and eyesight a Mrs Ackerley from nearby Altrincham has just been issued with night-time contact lenses. The idea is that she will wear them at night and they will correct her eyes and in the morning she will take them out and she will have 20/20 vision! What a great invention. But, like Nicola always says: 'You can't believe everything you read in the Manchester Evening News!' However, if it does work, and Mrs Ackerley says it does, then how about loading the same sort of eye correction treatment onto the computer and we could all improve our vision as we blog!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
It always seems to be someones birthday these days and this week, in fact today, it's my twin brother's birthday! Not that I'm a twin, you understand, but I do have two brothers who are, Henry + Stan! So, H + S, Happy Birthday!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
25/8/1970
Talking of birthdays! When's yours? You see, I do this crazy thing every week where I feature somebody who shares my birthday. This week it is German supermodel + actress Claudia Schiffer. Claudia was born on August 25th just like me and lots of other people, maybe even you? If your birthday just happens to be on 25/8, write in and let me know and I'll give you a BIG write-up on this blog! Anyway, you can clink the link to Claudia's US fansite HERE.
SECOND OPINION
Well, it's been a long day. Since I started writing todays blog, I've been back to the hospital for the MR Scan - It only took about thirty minutes from start to finish but talk about frightening! It was really scary! Why, because of the noise it makes? Not just the noise, but the future fiction aspect of the whole thing as well. I had to lie on this flat bed/table thing and then it moved inside a big tunnel, which seemed to narrow as I entered it head first. "Are you ready?" said a mystery voice. Then without waiting for me to reply, the buzzing noise began! DAR, DAR, DAR! it bellowed incessantly. It was like a very loud electric doorbell with an impatient postman, standing outside in the Manchester rain, pressing it. It went on and on and on. I kept very still as instructed and was glad when the noise finally stopped. However, the mystery voice kicked in again. "We'll have to do it again!" The voice began, "You moved a fraction!" it explained. Then the NOISE!!! started up again.
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER
I don't know about you but I just love cooking! I just love eating + I just love food! But the thing I hate about shopping is all that packaging and worse all that junk food that people have convinced themselves, saves them time. So, when Jack decided he wanted to have Kentucky Fried Chicken from KFC, I wasn't very happy. Eventually, as always, against my better judgement, we went to the local KFC drive-thru place. The first problem was we had to drive to it. (Green Gilbert wouldn't have liked that!) The second problem was, we had to drive past thirty or forty take-aways including six other brands of Southern Fried Chicken before we reached the KFC. Then, problem number three, On reaching the advertised outlet we were confronted with a mystifying amount of choice, there were bargain buckets, variety buckets, childrens menu's etc. And the staff, who I must say were very patient with us, were just as mystified that I/we didn't know what to order as I/we was/were with the conflicting menu.
DEAR KFC,
Sorry Colonel Sanders, the chicken wasn't very nice, I think you might have cooked it too long and oh yes, you left the skin on mine and after I peeled off all that nasty batter stuff that was stuck to it there wasn't really much chicken there, it was mainly bone. But the worst thing was the chips, they were cold and they tasted like cardboard, we had to throw them away. The other thing was, on the menu it said: Two main sides, (how American's that? but I knew what you meant!) the prob was we didn't get them! And we didn't get any napkins or salt or sauce or any clean-up tissues or any ice-cream or pop (soda US) in fact the only thing I felt I got was I felt I got ripped off!
I haven't mentioned this to you before, but it's official, I've got perpendicular eyes! Everyone else, according to Doctor Dreama at the hossie, has horizontal eyes. She did say that perpendicular eyes may well be normal for me, but just in case... she's sending me for loads of tests. So far, I've had two CAT Scans, Six Blood tests, Several eye scans, One chest x-ray, Three Eye photography appointments, a field test and three teams of Doctors from the eye hossie, all baffled by my case. Today, I was introduced to yet another eye specialist and I had my eyes re-examined. The results of the six bloods were negative and I now have to go for a magnetic resonance something or other - a different kind of scan? If they still can't find anything wrong with me, I've got to have a lumbar puncture! How much of an eye-opener is that?
BLOG EYES!
Anyway, talking of eyes and eyesight a Mrs Ackerley from nearby Altrincham has just been issued with night-time contact lenses. The idea is that she will wear them at night and they will correct her eyes and in the morning she will take them out and she will have 20/20 vision! What a great invention. But, like Nicola always says: 'You can't believe everything you read in the Manchester Evening News!' However, if it does work, and Mrs Ackerley says it does, then how about loading the same sort of eye correction treatment onto the computer and we could all improve our vision as we blog!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
It always seems to be someones birthday these days and this week, in fact today, it's my twin brother's birthday! Not that I'm a twin, you understand, but I do have two brothers who are, Henry + Stan! So, H + S, Happy Birthday!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
25/8/1970
Talking of birthdays! When's yours? You see, I do this crazy thing every week where I feature somebody who shares my birthday. This week it is German supermodel + actress Claudia Schiffer. Claudia was born on August 25th just like me and lots of other people, maybe even you? If your birthday just happens to be on 25/8, write in and let me know and I'll give you a BIG write-up on this blog! Anyway, you can clink the link to Claudia's US fansite HERE.
SECOND OPINION
Well, it's been a long day. Since I started writing todays blog, I've been back to the hospital for the MR Scan - It only took about thirty minutes from start to finish but talk about frightening! It was really scary! Why, because of the noise it makes? Not just the noise, but the future fiction aspect of the whole thing as well. I had to lie on this flat bed/table thing and then it moved inside a big tunnel, which seemed to narrow as I entered it head first. "Are you ready?" said a mystery voice. Then without waiting for me to reply, the buzzing noise began! DAR, DAR, DAR! it bellowed incessantly. It was like a very loud electric doorbell with an impatient postman, standing outside in the Manchester rain, pressing it. It went on and on and on. I kept very still as instructed and was glad when the noise finally stopped. However, the mystery voice kicked in again. "We'll have to do it again!" The voice began, "You moved a fraction!" it explained. Then the NOISE!!! started up again.
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER
I don't know about you but I just love cooking! I just love eating + I just love food! But the thing I hate about shopping is all that packaging and worse all that junk food that people have convinced themselves, saves them time. So, when Jack decided he wanted to have Kentucky Fried Chicken from KFC, I wasn't very happy. Eventually, as always, against my better judgement, we went to the local KFC drive-thru place. The first problem was we had to drive to it. (Green Gilbert wouldn't have liked that!) The second problem was, we had to drive past thirty or forty take-aways including six other brands of Southern Fried Chicken before we reached the KFC. Then, problem number three, On reaching the advertised outlet we were confronted with a mystifying amount of choice, there were bargain buckets, variety buckets, childrens menu's etc. And the staff, who I must say were very patient with us, were just as mystified that I/we didn't know what to order as I/we was/were with the conflicting menu.
DEAR KFC,
Sorry Colonel Sanders, the chicken wasn't very nice, I think you might have cooked it too long and oh yes, you left the skin on mine and after I peeled off all that nasty batter stuff that was stuck to it there wasn't really much chicken there, it was mainly bone. But the worst thing was the chips, they were cold and they tasted like cardboard, we had to throw them away. The other thing was, on the menu it said: Two main sides, (how American's that? but I knew what you meant!) the prob was we didn't get them! And we didn't get any napkins or salt or sauce or any clean-up tissues or any ice-cream or pop (soda US) in fact the only thing I felt I got was I felt I got ripped off!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Go for it!...
MYSTIFIED SHOPPER
Jack wanted to sell some old playstation games so he could buy a spider tank. Spider tanks are the latest must have thing! Jack and some of his school friends went to see the latest Spiderman movie at the weekend, so perhaps spider tanks are something to do with that? Well, I can't get much sense out of Jack at the moment, but I did see another boy with a spider tank and he was riding a bicycle. Anyhow, Jack went along to Gamestation in the local Blockbuster store and the man said he could have £9.00 for two old games but he would need an adult to sanction the deal. So, I went along and filled out my name and address on a sheet of paper and was asked to sign a reciept for a credit note. "Hold on a minute," I said. "I think Jack wanted cash!"
"Oh," said the man, "You'll need two pieces of ID! And it's only £6.00 for cash."
"Ok," I said, searching in my pockets. Eventually, I found my bank debit card and showed it to the man.
He shook his head. "Haven't you got anything else?" He asked.
I put my hand into my pocket again and produced my Blockbuster card. The man shook his head again.
I was about to give up when I found my credit card! This should do it I thought. Wrong again!
"You need two pieces of photo ID!" The man told me.
"Photo what?" I asked.
"Photo ID, a photo driving license and a passport!"
This was getting really embarrassing now, so I made my excuses and dragged Jack out of the store. I never want to go to Gamestation or Blockbuster again!
BIKE BITS + BOBS!
Cycling is one of those things you would think was so simple to do. You just get on your bike and go, don't you? Well, no! I mean you probably do if you have loads of time or if there's someplace you need to be. But, if you've not got any spare time and you've not got any urgent appointments or pressing engagements to attend... Getting out of the house is nigh on impossible, never mind digging the bike out of the ever increasing pile of BMX machines that seem to be breeding in my hallway. At the moment my Home-made-extra-cycle is at the bottom of the pile. Next comes my Mountain bike, which is wedged in by Jacks BMX! On top of Jack's bike is Jessica's BMX, which is blocked in by Jack's friends bike. On top of the bike pile is Ruth's extra special Puch Mini which I reckon is about forty years old. So, do I move five bikes to get mine out or do I just walk across the street to the corner shop and pay 38pence for the Manchester Evening News? Well, if I cycle up to Piccadilly or St Peter's Square I can get the city centre edition for free! But, by the time I've dug five bikes out of the way and dragged my machine to the front and cycled up to Aytoun Street or Oxford Street or wherever else the newsboy is handing out the freebies, I could have written another chapter of my book! When are we going to get a Moss Side Edition? (free-one) that's what I WANNA KNOW! Come on MEN!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
25/8/1980
GRANDMASTER GARETH
Ok, everybody's heard of Misty's haven't they? You know, Misty's! Misty's Big Adventure! Oh that Misty's, why didn't you say that in the first place then? Well, I just wanted to get you going. Anyhow, I know you all know who Misty's Big Adventure are and you all know who Grandmaster Gareth is! But I bet you didn't know that like many other famous people, Grandmaster Gareth shares my birthday! Well, you do now. Not only that but I used to be Misty's fattest fan! I can't say that any more 'cos I've lost so much weight! Ok, I'm Misty's oldest fan! Sorry to disappoint you, but there was a bloke even older than me at the last gig I went to at the Manchester Academy. So, what is my claim to fame then? Well, I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of the Grandmaster's, sort of... You see Jessica is a friend of Gareth's and Jessica works for my friend Nicola, so you see... we're almost best mates! aren't we? Anyway, I've got all the albums! So, I am Cool with a Capital C! If you get my drift! Who killed the bloody neighbours?
Jack wanted to sell some old playstation games so he could buy a spider tank. Spider tanks are the latest must have thing! Jack and some of his school friends went to see the latest Spiderman movie at the weekend, so perhaps spider tanks are something to do with that? Well, I can't get much sense out of Jack at the moment, but I did see another boy with a spider tank and he was riding a bicycle. Anyhow, Jack went along to Gamestation in the local Blockbuster store and the man said he could have £9.00 for two old games but he would need an adult to sanction the deal. So, I went along and filled out my name and address on a sheet of paper and was asked to sign a reciept for a credit note. "Hold on a minute," I said. "I think Jack wanted cash!"
"Oh," said the man, "You'll need two pieces of ID! And it's only £6.00 for cash."
"Ok," I said, searching in my pockets. Eventually, I found my bank debit card and showed it to the man.
He shook his head. "Haven't you got anything else?" He asked.
I put my hand into my pocket again and produced my Blockbuster card. The man shook his head again.
I was about to give up when I found my credit card! This should do it I thought. Wrong again!
"You need two pieces of photo ID!" The man told me.
"Photo what?" I asked.
"Photo ID, a photo driving license and a passport!"
This was getting really embarrassing now, so I made my excuses and dragged Jack out of the store. I never want to go to Gamestation or Blockbuster again!
BIKE BITS + BOBS!
Cycling is one of those things you would think was so simple to do. You just get on your bike and go, don't you? Well, no! I mean you probably do if you have loads of time or if there's someplace you need to be. But, if you've not got any spare time and you've not got any urgent appointments or pressing engagements to attend... Getting out of the house is nigh on impossible, never mind digging the bike out of the ever increasing pile of BMX machines that seem to be breeding in my hallway. At the moment my Home-made-extra-cycle is at the bottom of the pile. Next comes my Mountain bike, which is wedged in by Jacks BMX! On top of Jack's bike is Jessica's BMX, which is blocked in by Jack's friends bike. On top of the bike pile is Ruth's extra special Puch Mini which I reckon is about forty years old. So, do I move five bikes to get mine out or do I just walk across the street to the corner shop and pay 38pence for the Manchester Evening News? Well, if I cycle up to Piccadilly or St Peter's Square I can get the city centre edition for free! But, by the time I've dug five bikes out of the way and dragged my machine to the front and cycled up to Aytoun Street or Oxford Street or wherever else the newsboy is handing out the freebies, I could have written another chapter of my book! When are we going to get a Moss Side Edition? (free-one) that's what I WANNA KNOW! Come on MEN!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
25/8/1980
GRANDMASTER GARETH
Ok, everybody's heard of Misty's haven't they? You know, Misty's! Misty's Big Adventure! Oh that Misty's, why didn't you say that in the first place then? Well, I just wanted to get you going. Anyhow, I know you all know who Misty's Big Adventure are and you all know who Grandmaster Gareth is! But I bet you didn't know that like many other famous people, Grandmaster Gareth shares my birthday! Well, you do now. Not only that but I used to be Misty's fattest fan! I can't say that any more 'cos I've lost so much weight! Ok, I'm Misty's oldest fan! Sorry to disappoint you, but there was a bloke even older than me at the last gig I went to at the Manchester Academy. So, what is my claim to fame then? Well, I'm a friend of a friend of a friend of the Grandmaster's, sort of... You see Jessica is a friend of Gareth's and Jessica works for my friend Nicola, so you see... we're almost best mates! aren't we? Anyway, I've got all the albums! So, I am Cool with a Capital C! If you get my drift! Who killed the bloody neighbours?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Tit for tat!
THE PROPER SIX
I just want to say a BIG HELLO! to my six regular readers. I don't know who you are, but I do know that you exist. You see every week my counter thingy at the foot of this page tells me how many people have visited Proper Joe's. I think the record week was eighty-nine visits, and there's been some other good weeks and a couple of poor ones, but every week the regular six pop up - so, if you're reading this and you recognise yourself - get in touch! Leave a comment, send me an e-mail - read my other blogs!
RAW MEAT
Many of you know that Nicola has her own blogspot page where she publishes her monthly Newsletter, Raw Meat If you want a really good read and would like to check out her work-in-progress-novel which is actually part of a trilogy, simply clink the link! Nicola also has a website at: nicolabatty.co.uk which tells you all about her novels and other publications. She is a big Oscar Wilde fan and has recently had an article published in The Wildean.
GREEN GILBERT
I was speaking to Green Gilbert and he mentioned the Red Rose Forest and I said 'Where's that then?' And he said: "It's near Stretford Arndale!" Well, call me stupid but I've never seen a forest round that neck of the woods. Rubbish tips and the like abound, I thought to myself, thinking of the post industrial area. Green Gilbert was right of course and I was wrong, The little walk we went on last week-end was very pleasant and I will recommend it to you all here. We turned left off the main Chester Road out of Manchester at the car wash opposite Stretford Mall. We followed the street to the end and turned right. One hundred yards or so later we parked the car at the top of Hawthorn Lane and embarked upon a most delightful walk. The route, is linked to the Mersey Valley and there is access to the river at several points. It is actually quite close to other walks we've been on and mentioned in the blogisphere elsewhere. Anyway, thanks to Green Gilbert for introducing us to a little snippet of The Red Rose Forest and The Trans Pennine Trail! Amazing, to think that only minutes from the urban chaos, such a tranquil place exists! The country-side on our doorstep!
GOBSPLOT!
I don't know if you've had a chance to spend a few minutes over at Gobsplot.blogspot.com but you are very welcome to come and check out my Doktir Nairobi blog. I must warn you though that it's just me with a South American accent! blogging on about Nairobics! yawn...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! 25/8
SAINT FAUSTINA 1905
When's your birthday? mine's on the twenty fifth of August along with some weird and wonderful characters. Did you know that not only Ludwig I of Bavaria but also Ludwig II was born on, you guessed it 25/8 the former in 1786 and Ludwig II in 1845. This week I'm going to introduce you to Faustyna Kowalska! born 25/8/1905. Who? Saint Faustina! The recently cannonised Polish saint. Don't forget if you share our birthday - let me know!
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet...
SweetTalkingGuy...
On the really bad poetry/lyric blogs this week I've posted a folk style song that I wrote (according to my back of a bus ticket notes) in 1991. Anyway, the song is about a guy called Jon who ended up shining shoes on Waterloo railway station. I don't know where I got the original inspiration from but I guess it was something I read. Anyhow, you can take a look, if you want! The links are in the sidebar. Oh yeah, before I go, I must tell you that we had some fun performing last weeks really bad lyric: Canaletto! Everytime I said/sang 'Look how Canaletto I am?' I did a sort of sideways punting action. How daft's that? By the way if you want to sing Canaletto it works well to the Beatles tune obladeoblada life goes on! But think Marlon Brando! Canaletto = Macho!
MAY DAY !
Well regular readers will know that today is the start of my real diet! My quick weight loss has ended for ever and I now have to think before I eat. So, was the scheme successful? Yes, I achieved my target but I now know that the hard work is in front of me keeping the pounds at bay! Hopefully I will never have to mention weight/weight loss ever again. Hold on, you can buy my book! Only joking...
I just want to say a BIG HELLO! to my six regular readers. I don't know who you are, but I do know that you exist. You see every week my counter thingy at the foot of this page tells me how many people have visited Proper Joe's. I think the record week was eighty-nine visits, and there's been some other good weeks and a couple of poor ones, but every week the regular six pop up - so, if you're reading this and you recognise yourself - get in touch! Leave a comment, send me an e-mail - read my other blogs!
RAW MEAT
Many of you know that Nicola has her own blogspot page where she publishes her monthly Newsletter, Raw Meat If you want a really good read and would like to check out her work-in-progress-novel which is actually part of a trilogy, simply clink the link! Nicola also has a website at: nicolabatty.co.uk which tells you all about her novels and other publications. She is a big Oscar Wilde fan and has recently had an article published in The Wildean.
GREEN GILBERT
I was speaking to Green Gilbert and he mentioned the Red Rose Forest and I said 'Where's that then?' And he said: "It's near Stretford Arndale!" Well, call me stupid but I've never seen a forest round that neck of the woods. Rubbish tips and the like abound, I thought to myself, thinking of the post industrial area. Green Gilbert was right of course and I was wrong, The little walk we went on last week-end was very pleasant and I will recommend it to you all here. We turned left off the main Chester Road out of Manchester at the car wash opposite Stretford Mall. We followed the street to the end and turned right. One hundred yards or so later we parked the car at the top of Hawthorn Lane and embarked upon a most delightful walk. The route, is linked to the Mersey Valley and there is access to the river at several points. It is actually quite close to other walks we've been on and mentioned in the blogisphere elsewhere. Anyway, thanks to Green Gilbert for introducing us to a little snippet of The Red Rose Forest and The Trans Pennine Trail! Amazing, to think that only minutes from the urban chaos, such a tranquil place exists! The country-side on our doorstep!
GOBSPLOT!
I don't know if you've had a chance to spend a few minutes over at Gobsplot.blogspot.com but you are very welcome to come and check out my Doktir Nairobi blog. I must warn you though that it's just me with a South American accent! blogging on about Nairobics! yawn...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! 25/8
SAINT FAUSTINA 1905
When's your birthday? mine's on the twenty fifth of August along with some weird and wonderful characters. Did you know that not only Ludwig I of Bavaria but also Ludwig II was born on, you guessed it 25/8 the former in 1786 and Ludwig II in 1845. This week I'm going to introduce you to Faustyna Kowalska! born 25/8/1905. Who? Saint Faustina! The recently cannonised Polish saint. Don't forget if you share our birthday - let me know!
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet...
SweetTalkingGuy...
On the really bad poetry/lyric blogs this week I've posted a folk style song that I wrote (according to my back of a bus ticket notes) in 1991. Anyway, the song is about a guy called Jon who ended up shining shoes on Waterloo railway station. I don't know where I got the original inspiration from but I guess it was something I read. Anyhow, you can take a look, if you want! The links are in the sidebar. Oh yeah, before I go, I must tell you that we had some fun performing last weeks really bad lyric: Canaletto! Everytime I said/sang 'Look how Canaletto I am?' I did a sort of sideways punting action. How daft's that? By the way if you want to sing Canaletto it works well to the Beatles tune obladeoblada life goes on! But think Marlon Brando! Canaletto = Macho!
MAY DAY !
Well regular readers will know that today is the start of my real diet! My quick weight loss has ended for ever and I now have to think before I eat. So, was the scheme successful? Yes, I achieved my target but I now know that the hard work is in front of me keeping the pounds at bay! Hopefully I will never have to mention weight/weight loss ever again. Hold on, you can buy my book! Only joking...
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
About Time Too!
CCTV
It's gone really quiet on our street all of a sudden. Not before time , I might add. It can get pretty hectic in Moss Side especially in the summer time. We've had a few good days weatherwise lately and yes, everybodies been out on the streets enjoying the sunshine. Then, about the middle of last week - it all went quiet! Yes, there was a bit of a lull in the weather and we even got the odd April shower. But all of a sudden about Thursday last, people started to disappear from the streets. I'm not kidding you, there must be about one hundred regulars from Claremont Road alone, gone missing. Where have they all gone and more importantly why? Well, the only explanation I can offer is that last Wednesday, the local powers that be installed CCTV camera's in strategic places along the street. I went out this morning and had a look round - everywhere was still quiet. Then I saw one of the drug sellers, just out of camera alongside the wall of the pub. The shady (unlicensed) taxi's were there too. And the snide goods dealers, tucked just out of sight of the CCTV. I walked past the end of the side street and guess what? More of the usual suspects, were huddled together, leaning on some poor sod's car. Yes Ms Politician lady! You've managed to cut the CRIME figures - but only by moving the criminals into the side streets! And, only for NOW! 'Cos by the time that the local elections are over, everybody will have realised that there is no film in the camera's and everything will be back to normal!
SPEED BUMPS
I don't want to get too political - even though the local elections are just around the proverbial corner... But I must have a dig at the 2/8 (state) of the roads round here. In the fifteen years or so that we have lived here the road and pavements have never been recovered. They have been meddled with, for instance some idiot has planted little propergander sign-posts at the end of some of the side-streets - the problem is the place they have installed the scaffolding tube style signs is on the slopey bit where the pavements have been lowered for wheelchair access. How mad is that? And those speed bumps? They are the worst things! The traffic round here is MAD! But putting speed bumps on the street is Madder! Why? Because the Mad drivers actually speed up to go over the stupid things, resulting in more chaos. If any of the local candidates actually knock on my door this year, I'll guarantee my vote to the first one that promises to remove the blooming SPEED BUMPS!
GREEN GILBERT
We've got all sorts of green issues hounding us at the moment. We have a re-cycling collection man who comes every fortnight but most people don't leave anything out for him. We also have a wheelie bin collection every week, which is also a bit of a disaster. Most people don't take their bins back into their yards, they leave them out in the alley and then the kids come along and set fire to them or turn them over. They then become a health risk as rats and mice are attracted to the mess. Green Gilbert says: Wheelie bins in this area don't work! a) nobody wants them in their back yard because robers use them as scaffolding to break into their homes. b)The kids saw the wheels off them. So, what is the answer? Those skip type wheeled bins are beter than individual wheelie bins - what we need is a communal skip at the end of every alleyway.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
JEFF TWEEDY
25/8/1967
Think Wilco, think Jeff Tweedy! The sometimes controversial lead singer of Wilco, Jeff Tweedy is our featured celebrity this week who just happens to have been born on my birthday. You can clink the link HERE to the Wikipedia site about him. I have looked at quite a few other sites including the Wilco site, but in the end I think this link will give you a clearer image of who Jeff Twedy is! Talking about birthdays it was Shakespeares birthday yesterday and also the aniversary of his death. Yesterday was of course also Saint George's day. The Patron saint of England.
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet...
SweetTalkingGuy...
My really bad poetry blogs! What's happening is this! For some stupid reason, it looks like I'm going to lose StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet... so I set up SweetTalkingGuy... to continue my really daft/bad/some people say rubbish poetry. The thing is in the meantime I now have two poetry blogs, so each tuesday I now post my new poem/lyric to both! This weeks posting is a song called Canaletto, you can sing it yourself - any tune will do! I started off thinking sucu-sucu but it ended up a bit Beatleyish! Some of my fave canals in the world get a mention, so please do check it out!
GOBSPLOT!
Where do I get these names from? Anyway, Gobsplot is my Doktir Nairobi blog. Gobsplot is an anagram of Blogspot! And the blog is pretty much me blogging on about Nairobics! Nairobics? Some people say I invented it and that Doktir Nairobi is my alter ego! I really don't know where these people get their ideas from. I must say that I have been writing about Doktir Nairobi for a long time. I first tried writing Nairobics as a novel in the 1970's, I wrote over 30,000 words and ripped the manuscript up. I had met some christians in Jersey and they told me that Nairobics was from the devil and I was scared that I would lose my soul, so I destroyed it. In the 1980's I re-wrote it for a funzine publication. It recieved a lot of attention at the time, but I was never able to keep the momentum going. So, with more info than ever about Nairobics and Doktir Nairobi, I'm going to give it a final whirl as a web publication. You can clink the link HERE.
It's gone really quiet on our street all of a sudden. Not before time , I might add. It can get pretty hectic in Moss Side especially in the summer time. We've had a few good days weatherwise lately and yes, everybodies been out on the streets enjoying the sunshine. Then, about the middle of last week - it all went quiet! Yes, there was a bit of a lull in the weather and we even got the odd April shower. But all of a sudden about Thursday last, people started to disappear from the streets. I'm not kidding you, there must be about one hundred regulars from Claremont Road alone, gone missing. Where have they all gone and more importantly why? Well, the only explanation I can offer is that last Wednesday, the local powers that be installed CCTV camera's in strategic places along the street. I went out this morning and had a look round - everywhere was still quiet. Then I saw one of the drug sellers, just out of camera alongside the wall of the pub. The shady (unlicensed) taxi's were there too. And the snide goods dealers, tucked just out of sight of the CCTV. I walked past the end of the side street and guess what? More of the usual suspects, were huddled together, leaning on some poor sod's car. Yes Ms Politician lady! You've managed to cut the CRIME figures - but only by moving the criminals into the side streets! And, only for NOW! 'Cos by the time that the local elections are over, everybody will have realised that there is no film in the camera's and everything will be back to normal!
SPEED BUMPS
I don't want to get too political - even though the local elections are just around the proverbial corner... But I must have a dig at the 2/8 (state) of the roads round here. In the fifteen years or so that we have lived here the road and pavements have never been recovered. They have been meddled with, for instance some idiot has planted little propergander sign-posts at the end of some of the side-streets - the problem is the place they have installed the scaffolding tube style signs is on the slopey bit where the pavements have been lowered for wheelchair access. How mad is that? And those speed bumps? They are the worst things! The traffic round here is MAD! But putting speed bumps on the street is Madder! Why? Because the Mad drivers actually speed up to go over the stupid things, resulting in more chaos. If any of the local candidates actually knock on my door this year, I'll guarantee my vote to the first one that promises to remove the blooming SPEED BUMPS!
GREEN GILBERT
We've got all sorts of green issues hounding us at the moment. We have a re-cycling collection man who comes every fortnight but most people don't leave anything out for him. We also have a wheelie bin collection every week, which is also a bit of a disaster. Most people don't take their bins back into their yards, they leave them out in the alley and then the kids come along and set fire to them or turn them over. They then become a health risk as rats and mice are attracted to the mess. Green Gilbert says: Wheelie bins in this area don't work! a) nobody wants them in their back yard because robers use them as scaffolding to break into their homes. b)The kids saw the wheels off them. So, what is the answer? Those skip type wheeled bins are beter than individual wheelie bins - what we need is a communal skip at the end of every alleyway.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!
JEFF TWEEDY
25/8/1967
Think Wilco, think Jeff Tweedy! The sometimes controversial lead singer of Wilco, Jeff Tweedy is our featured celebrity this week who just happens to have been born on my birthday. You can clink the link HERE to the Wikipedia site about him. I have looked at quite a few other sites including the Wilco site, but in the end I think this link will give you a clearer image of who Jeff Twedy is! Talking about birthdays it was Shakespeares birthday yesterday and also the aniversary of his death. Yesterday was of course also Saint George's day. The Patron saint of England.
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet...
SweetTalkingGuy...
My really bad poetry blogs! What's happening is this! For some stupid reason, it looks like I'm going to lose StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet... so I set up SweetTalkingGuy... to continue my really daft/bad/some people say rubbish poetry. The thing is in the meantime I now have two poetry blogs, so each tuesday I now post my new poem/lyric to both! This weeks posting is a song called Canaletto, you can sing it yourself - any tune will do! I started off thinking sucu-sucu but it ended up a bit Beatleyish! Some of my fave canals in the world get a mention, so please do check it out!
GOBSPLOT!
Where do I get these names from? Anyway, Gobsplot is my Doktir Nairobi blog. Gobsplot is an anagram of Blogspot! And the blog is pretty much me blogging on about Nairobics! Nairobics? Some people say I invented it and that Doktir Nairobi is my alter ego! I really don't know where these people get their ideas from. I must say that I have been writing about Doktir Nairobi for a long time. I first tried writing Nairobics as a novel in the 1970's, I wrote over 30,000 words and ripped the manuscript up. I had met some christians in Jersey and they told me that Nairobics was from the devil and I was scared that I would lose my soul, so I destroyed it. In the 1980's I re-wrote it for a funzine publication. It recieved a lot of attention at the time, but I was never able to keep the momentum going. So, with more info than ever about Nairobics and Doktir Nairobi, I'm going to give it a final whirl as a web publication. You can clink the link HERE.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Madder + madder...
MYSTERY SHOPPER #1
Jack wanted a new basketball vest this week and I remember the palaver last time he bought one about three years or so ago. Well, the bottom line is that nothing much has changed. You go in the sports shop and you ask the assistant where the basketball shirts/vests are and he/she looks at you as if you're daft. In the third high street shop/chain we tried we actually found that they had one. The one they had was an extra large size and really should have been tagged FM as it was flaming massive to put it politely. Back home we checked the weired web for basketball vests, yes they existed - but at a big price. The one Jack wanted cost over £100.00 So, it was back to the high street we went. We eventually found and purchased two different vests, one at JD SPORTS and one at SOCCER SPORTS they were both reasonably priced and marked down in the sales.
MYSTERY SHOPPER#2
I was reading about some mad security guards in some daft supermarket somewhere the other day and they (the security guards) had taken to wearing stab proof jackets for some reason best known to themselves. Then the very next day at Nantwich Cheshire I stopped for a lottery ticket at the Morrisons store and there were these crazy little security men with daft prison style uniforms on. I bought my lottery ticket as fast as I could and left the store - Mr Morrison, I'm sorry I won't be shopping at your store no more, the prison guards are the final straw, just one more reason not to shop at Morrison's no more!
EAT-ON-DEMAND #1
The big story this week is the news that the fat gene has been discovered! Apparently if you have two copies of the gene you are twice as likely to be overweight as people who only have one copy! Of course if you're really slim you probably don't possess a copy of the gene anyway. The logic behind this research project is phat and it gets even phatter. How can you tell how many copies of the gene you might possess? Answer: Take a look at your parents, if one parent is overweight, then you're 40% likely to get fat yourself, as you will more than likely only have one copy of the fat gene. If however, both of your parents are overweight, then you stand an 80% chance of following them, as you will almost definately have two copies of the fat gene. Me? I just looked in my wardrobe and dug out two pairs of fat jeans, the first was 36inch waist + the second 34inch waist. I slung them in the freecycle skip, I never want to be THAT FAT again! In fact, if I go above 32inch waist, I'll just eat less + do more exercise. Fat gene or not!
EAT-ON-DEMAND #2
How's the non-diet doing? Fine thanks, it's not doing anymore though, it's done! I'm now on the real diet, where I have to watch what I eat and when I eat. The problem I have found this last week is that temptation is everywhere! Cakes and biscuits, smelly cheeses, high-calorie sauces, junk food, processed foods, ready meals, pizza, pasta + potatoes. The list goes on into infinity. The trick is, eat less! Exercise more! Many fat people myself included, don't realise that exercise gives you the same buzz as comfort eating but has the opposite effect. One great diet guru said: It's not the fat that makes you fat - it's eating it! Anyhow, temptation aside, I'm enjoying eating salads and fruit and vegetables, brown bread and hi-fibre cereals. Tomorrow I'm going to make lentils - you can cook them in a pressure cooker in just 12 minutes. The other tip, I'll share with you today is humus, you can make it yourself with very little olive oil + leave out the tahini for a low calorie version. The raw garlic is good for you too!
SweetTalkingGuy...
Stay away from him! At your peril! SweetTalkingGuy is the name of my all new pub-poetry blog and you can clink the link HERE. The thing is, it's not really any different to my old very bad poetry blog STSTS and the two of them are up and running now alongside each other for the time being. So, why the new blog? Well, the stupid thing about STSTS is its URL, It's going to be taken off me sooner or later for legal reasons that I can't reveal on these pages. So, SweetTalkingGuy is really just a way of moving all my archive poetry before the balloon goes up! D'yer get it?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY 25/8
ALLAN PINKERTON
Don't forget if your birthday is on 25/8 you are one of a select few - in fact I'd go as far as to say you are one of the greats - and that's without even meeting you! Seriously now though, if your birthday does fall on the twenty fifth day of August please write in and let me know. And if you want, I'll give you a BIG write-up on this blog. By the way my e-mail address is in my full profile and you can clink the link to it in the right hand sidebar. Anyway, this tuesday we're going for a very different kind of person to the usual rock/pop/country/actor/writer types. Yes on 25/8 this week, I present Allan Pinkerton! You know, Allan Pinkerton of the Pinkerton agency! Everybody's heard of him! Haven't they? So, Allan Pinkerton 1819 clink the link.
Jack wanted a new basketball vest this week and I remember the palaver last time he bought one about three years or so ago. Well, the bottom line is that nothing much has changed. You go in the sports shop and you ask the assistant where the basketball shirts/vests are and he/she looks at you as if you're daft. In the third high street shop/chain we tried we actually found that they had one. The one they had was an extra large size and really should have been tagged FM as it was flaming massive to put it politely. Back home we checked the weired web for basketball vests, yes they existed - but at a big price. The one Jack wanted cost over £100.00 So, it was back to the high street we went. We eventually found and purchased two different vests, one at JD SPORTS and one at SOCCER SPORTS they were both reasonably priced and marked down in the sales.
MYSTERY SHOPPER#2
I was reading about some mad security guards in some daft supermarket somewhere the other day and they (the security guards) had taken to wearing stab proof jackets for some reason best known to themselves. Then the very next day at Nantwich Cheshire I stopped for a lottery ticket at the Morrisons store and there were these crazy little security men with daft prison style uniforms on. I bought my lottery ticket as fast as I could and left the store - Mr Morrison, I'm sorry I won't be shopping at your store no more, the prison guards are the final straw, just one more reason not to shop at Morrison's no more!
EAT-ON-DEMAND #1
The big story this week is the news that the fat gene has been discovered! Apparently if you have two copies of the gene you are twice as likely to be overweight as people who only have one copy! Of course if you're really slim you probably don't possess a copy of the gene anyway. The logic behind this research project is phat and it gets even phatter. How can you tell how many copies of the gene you might possess? Answer: Take a look at your parents, if one parent is overweight, then you're 40% likely to get fat yourself, as you will more than likely only have one copy of the fat gene. If however, both of your parents are overweight, then you stand an 80% chance of following them, as you will almost definately have two copies of the fat gene. Me? I just looked in my wardrobe and dug out two pairs of fat jeans, the first was 36inch waist + the second 34inch waist. I slung them in the freecycle skip, I never want to be THAT FAT again! In fact, if I go above 32inch waist, I'll just eat less + do more exercise. Fat gene or not!
EAT-ON-DEMAND #2
How's the non-diet doing? Fine thanks, it's not doing anymore though, it's done! I'm now on the real diet, where I have to watch what I eat and when I eat. The problem I have found this last week is that temptation is everywhere! Cakes and biscuits, smelly cheeses, high-calorie sauces, junk food, processed foods, ready meals, pizza, pasta + potatoes. The list goes on into infinity. The trick is, eat less! Exercise more! Many fat people myself included, don't realise that exercise gives you the same buzz as comfort eating but has the opposite effect. One great diet guru said: It's not the fat that makes you fat - it's eating it! Anyhow, temptation aside, I'm enjoying eating salads and fruit and vegetables, brown bread and hi-fibre cereals. Tomorrow I'm going to make lentils - you can cook them in a pressure cooker in just 12 minutes. The other tip, I'll share with you today is humus, you can make it yourself with very little olive oil + leave out the tahini for a low calorie version. The raw garlic is good for you too!
SweetTalkingGuy...
Stay away from him! At your peril! SweetTalkingGuy is the name of my all new pub-poetry blog and you can clink the link HERE. The thing is, it's not really any different to my old very bad poetry blog STSTS and the two of them are up and running now alongside each other for the time being. So, why the new blog? Well, the stupid thing about STSTS is its URL, It's going to be taken off me sooner or later for legal reasons that I can't reveal on these pages. So, SweetTalkingGuy is really just a way of moving all my archive poetry before the balloon goes up! D'yer get it?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY 25/8
ALLAN PINKERTON
Don't forget if your birthday is on 25/8 you are one of a select few - in fact I'd go as far as to say you are one of the greats - and that's without even meeting you! Seriously now though, if your birthday does fall on the twenty fifth day of August please write in and let me know. And if you want, I'll give you a BIG write-up on this blog. By the way my e-mail address is in my full profile and you can clink the link to it in the right hand sidebar. Anyway, this tuesday we're going for a very different kind of person to the usual rock/pop/country/actor/writer types. Yes on 25/8 this week, I present Allan Pinkerton! You know, Allan Pinkerton of the Pinkerton agency! Everybody's heard of him! Haven't they? So, Allan Pinkerton 1819 clink the link.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Easter tour..
PLYMOUTH SOUND
Nic, Jack + I went down to the beautiful city of Plymouth for the Easter weekend. Nic's cousin Karen got married to Shane. It was a beautiful sunny day and the picture postcard view from the hotel was magnificent. I really like being by the sea and the view across the bay of Plymouth Sound must be one of the most beautiful in Britain. The only thing I don't like about Plymouth is the steep hills. Pushing Ziggy can be murder, especially when the streets are cobbled as well. Fortunately for us, on this trip, the going was easy. We stayed at a hotel on Plymouth Hoe which was quite close to the one where the wedding was being held. In the morning before the wedding we went for a little walk around the Barbican - we saw the Mayflower Steps, where the Pilgram Fathers boarded the Mayflower to set sail for America all those years ago. I spoke to a guy, who was driving a touristy tuk-tuk sightseeing thing. I asked him if it had an electric motor? No, he replied, It's got a 350 something or other! Get an electric one! I said.
FOOTBALLING
It looks like City are staying put in the Premiership, after reaching the magical 40 point mark yesterday. They beat the London side Fulham 3-1 in the capital, with a goal each from Barton, Beasley and Vassell. Of course forty points may not be enough to stave off relegation but most people I've spoken to today think that it'll be enough. That red across the road didn't say anything though - I mean he couldn't say much - could he! Uni-ted having been beaten by lowly Portsmouth very recently. The title race is wide open again, Chelsea being only three points adrift now and having played the same number of games as the reds.
EAT-ON-DEMAND
This is week ten and I've blown-it! Well, not quite! Although, I took the week-end off to go the wedding and I'm still eating vegetables and cereal and other food apart from MEAT, EGGS + FISH, I must tell you that I'm not over-eating, or feeling hungry and I'm not going mad! What I am doing though, is monitoring the situation and if I feel it is neccessary, then I will go back on the rapid reduction technique for a further two weeks - but not going beyond my target finish date of May Day. Come what may, May Day is when the real diet starts. By that, I mean that from the first of May 2007 I will have to be very careful about what I eat and what I don't eat. One thing I intend to continue to do is to keep on drinking the water! Each day I need at least 4 pints of the nectar, just to stay alive! But it's not just me - Everybody needs to drink this amount of water, every day + the 4 pint amount is just for starters, what we really ought to be drinking in addition is a like for like amount for every cup of tea + coffee and for each glass of juice, cola, alchol etc. Dream On!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
BILLY RAY CYRUS
25/8/1961
Proper Joe or what? Billy Ray Cyrus, famous for his mullett hair style and for his big hit Achy breaky heart, has a new album out I'm told called Wanna be your Joe! Do you? Well, alright then, I guess thats ok! Sounds more like a Lou Reed kind of title than a Country thing to me. But you can't help liking Achy breaky, can you? I know that I can't. What I didn't know at the time was that Billy Ray shared my birthday - but that didn't stop me buying the tune. I was just reading on the weird web that Achy breaky was voted the worst song ever by one pop magazine in 2004 - there's no accounting for tastes is there! Anyhow, what do I know? You can check out Billy Ray Cyrus HERE.
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet..
In my really bad poetry and even worse song lyric blog STSTS last week, I posted the daft lyrics to a song I said was called Cricket Bat! Well, guess what? It's not! Called Cricket Bat! It's not even about a cricket bat and I don't even know why I told you it was, apart from the fact that I didn't have a written down version of the song and had to re-create it from memory. Well, my memory came back to me half way through the week and I now remember that it was called Tennis bat! Not only did I get the title completely wrong, I also missed out a crucial part of the lyric - I see you've got yerself a one string thing! It makes a racket + it cost a packet! But if yer wanna make that rot-box swing! So, to cut a long story short I'm gonna change it today! What I don't know though is what will be on offer this week! Well, I guess you'll just have to check it out for yourself! HERE.
Nic, Jack + I went down to the beautiful city of Plymouth for the Easter weekend. Nic's cousin Karen got married to Shane. It was a beautiful sunny day and the picture postcard view from the hotel was magnificent. I really like being by the sea and the view across the bay of Plymouth Sound must be one of the most beautiful in Britain. The only thing I don't like about Plymouth is the steep hills. Pushing Ziggy can be murder, especially when the streets are cobbled as well. Fortunately for us, on this trip, the going was easy. We stayed at a hotel on Plymouth Hoe which was quite close to the one where the wedding was being held. In the morning before the wedding we went for a little walk around the Barbican - we saw the Mayflower Steps, where the Pilgram Fathers boarded the Mayflower to set sail for America all those years ago. I spoke to a guy, who was driving a touristy tuk-tuk sightseeing thing. I asked him if it had an electric motor? No, he replied, It's got a 350 something or other! Get an electric one! I said.
FOOTBALLING
It looks like City are staying put in the Premiership, after reaching the magical 40 point mark yesterday. They beat the London side Fulham 3-1 in the capital, with a goal each from Barton, Beasley and Vassell. Of course forty points may not be enough to stave off relegation but most people I've spoken to today think that it'll be enough. That red across the road didn't say anything though - I mean he couldn't say much - could he! Uni-ted having been beaten by lowly Portsmouth very recently. The title race is wide open again, Chelsea being only three points adrift now and having played the same number of games as the reds.
EAT-ON-DEMAND
This is week ten and I've blown-it! Well, not quite! Although, I took the week-end off to go the wedding and I'm still eating vegetables and cereal and other food apart from MEAT, EGGS + FISH, I must tell you that I'm not over-eating, or feeling hungry and I'm not going mad! What I am doing though, is monitoring the situation and if I feel it is neccessary, then I will go back on the rapid reduction technique for a further two weeks - but not going beyond my target finish date of May Day. Come what may, May Day is when the real diet starts. By that, I mean that from the first of May 2007 I will have to be very careful about what I eat and what I don't eat. One thing I intend to continue to do is to keep on drinking the water! Each day I need at least 4 pints of the nectar, just to stay alive! But it's not just me - Everybody needs to drink this amount of water, every day + the 4 pint amount is just for starters, what we really ought to be drinking in addition is a like for like amount for every cup of tea + coffee and for each glass of juice, cola, alchol etc. Dream On!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
BILLY RAY CYRUS
25/8/1961
Proper Joe or what? Billy Ray Cyrus, famous for his mullett hair style and for his big hit Achy breaky heart, has a new album out I'm told called Wanna be your Joe! Do you? Well, alright then, I guess thats ok! Sounds more like a Lou Reed kind of title than a Country thing to me. But you can't help liking Achy breaky, can you? I know that I can't. What I didn't know at the time was that Billy Ray shared my birthday - but that didn't stop me buying the tune. I was just reading on the weird web that Achy breaky was voted the worst song ever by one pop magazine in 2004 - there's no accounting for tastes is there! Anyhow, what do I know? You can check out Billy Ray Cyrus HERE.
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet..
In my really bad poetry and even worse song lyric blog STSTS last week, I posted the daft lyrics to a song I said was called Cricket Bat! Well, guess what? It's not! Called Cricket Bat! It's not even about a cricket bat and I don't even know why I told you it was, apart from the fact that I didn't have a written down version of the song and had to re-create it from memory. Well, my memory came back to me half way through the week and I now remember that it was called Tennis bat! Not only did I get the title completely wrong, I also missed out a crucial part of the lyric - I see you've got yerself a one string thing! It makes a racket + it cost a packet! But if yer wanna make that rot-box swing! So, to cut a long story short I'm gonna change it today! What I don't know though is what will be on offer this week! Well, I guess you'll just have to check it out for yourself! HERE.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Mark my words...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY
ROB HALFORD
(AND THEIRS TOO)
I've got some new people to add to the 25/8 list this week. As you'll know by now, if you've been reading this blog recently, that I'm doing a thing about people who share my birthday - August 25th. Anyway, the latest recruits are as follows: John Badham 1939 Film Director Saturday Night Fever. Ludwig II 1845 mad king of Bavaria. Shock G 1963 Rapper. Ivan the Terrible 1530 Russian Tsar. Jeff Tweedy 1967 singer/songwriter Lead singer of Wilco. Tom Skerrit 1933 Actor. Allan Pinkerton 1819 North Western Police Agency Founder (US). Walt Kelly 1913 cartoonist (US). And Rob Halford who was born in Birmingham, Rob is of course that man from Judas Priest, if you want to find out more about him and his evergreen career you can clink the link HERE.
And don't forget! If you share the same birthday as the above mentioned - Please write to me and I'll post your story on this blog!!!
FOOTBALLING
If you can't play football -
just pick up the ball + run!
Shouting Uni-ted! round here is akin to swearing, perhaps worse, maybe these days you can actually be arrested/locked up for mouthing the offensive words. In Manchester, where I live and the city of my birth, there are two great football teams! City and City reserves! We are the Mancunians, The Blues! We play at The City of Manchester Stadium. There are other football clubs around the area including Stockport County, Bury FC, Oldham Athletic, Wigan Athletic, Altrincham Town, Timperley Bigshorts, Stalybridge Celtic and Bolton Wanderers. For the most part they are in walking distance of this keyboard, the rest I can cycle to if I had to. Then, there are the Destination Football grounds like Wembley Stadium 180 miles south of here and of course our near neighbour, situated just outside the city of Manchester boundary at Old Trafford is the Theatre of Dreams - Gold Trafford, where Manchester Uni-ted play to capacity crowds on a regular basis. However, I have only ever been there a handful of times, when my team City have been playing there. I am certainly not a supporter. However, a certain red rag blog has listed me as a new member, apparently because I mentioned that City had been knocked out of the FA cup a couple of weeks back. Well, thanks anyway, Manchester United Unofficial Supporters Thingy, for giving Properjoe's a link - but, please rescind my membership forthwith as it is a teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy-diddy-bit EMBARRASSING!
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet..
This week on my really bad poetry and even worse song lyrics blog STSTS.. I have posted the words to my daft performance piece entitled My Two String Violin! If you really want to sing along to it you just need to think Cliff Richard! Go and take a butchers and don't laugh at the mad photo on the previous posting. Anyway, I actually performed this piece at a community centre in Levenshulme, a few years ago. I've been looking at all the venues that Performance Poets can go to these days and it's pretty impressive. I really need to get out a bit more often myself, I'd love to do some of my newer stuff, someplace soon! I'll keep you posted. On the publishing front, I have news of two new publications for you. Suzanne Batty - twin sister to my Nicola, has her new Poetry Collection title listed on Amazon, you can order a copy! It's called The Barking Thing. Nicola herself, also has a new publication out this week, 50 Bites! which is a compilation of the first fifty editorials from her monthly Newsletter Raw Meat..
EAT-ON-DEMAND
Week nine and all is going well. I had hoped that eight weeks would be enough of this mad non-diet but unfortunately it's NOT! It looks like I'll have to go the full twelve weeks that I set aside, to reach my target weight. So, week nine and this crazy eating plan is getting easier by the day. Sometimes I really have to force myself to eat. Most mornings, I completely forget about food and find myself distracted by the jobs I am obliged to do. It is often noon or one pm when I have my first bite of the day. Othertimes I do feel peckish, mainly in the evenings after everybody else has eaten. The nature of this non-diet, allows me to eat when I like. It truely is an eat-on-demand-program! One thing I always make sure that I do, is to drink my four pints (min) of water every day. If I even miss one pint, I usually wake up in the night feeling really dehydrated. Water, really is, it seems, the kill or cure all commodity, in this life.
BIKE BITS, ZIGGY BIKE
I still want to build/buy a proper Ziggy bike so I/we can take Nic out cycling with us. Nic is confined to a wheelchair and she calls her wheelchair Ziggy. Hence the name Ziggy bike! I have figured out a basic design and now just need a donor mountain bike and a spare front wheel and a couple of lengths of threaded steel to attach the front forks of the mountain bike to the back of a Ziggy. Oh yes, that's the other thing I need a basic wheelchair that I can convert for the purpose. I am hopeful of finding most/all of the bike bits and the Ziggy on my local FreeCycle. However, if anybody does have a spare Ziggy bike for sale, I would certainly consider buying it!
FINALLY
THE MYSTERY SHOPPER!
I used to do a column called Consumer Girl! Where I used to beef about the price of cheese and complain about the state of the nations chip shops and stuff. Well Mystery Shopper is a bit more of the same old tripe, if you get my drift? I get really mad sometimes when illogical/irrational things occur in retail premises. For example, I was in my local Asda supermarket today and I needed a new strap for my watch. I went to the jewelery counter where I had previously purchased my watch from and asked the nice lady if I could see the watch straps Please? Sorry, said the nice lady, we don't sell watch straps! But you sell watches! I said. Oh yes, she replied, but we don't sell watch straps. That's crazy, I said, What do you do if you break your watch strap? You have to buy a new watch, said the nice lady. But the watch is fine, I just need a new strap for it! I told her again, but it was like talking to someone who couldn't hear. How mad is that? Surely if the jewelery section was a stand alone business it would be bankrupt by now! You can't treat paying customers like idiots! Wake up! Asda! You've just been blogged by The Mystery Shopper!
ROB HALFORD
(AND THEIRS TOO)
I've got some new people to add to the 25/8 list this week. As you'll know by now, if you've been reading this blog recently, that I'm doing a thing about people who share my birthday - August 25th. Anyway, the latest recruits are as follows: John Badham 1939 Film Director Saturday Night Fever. Ludwig II 1845 mad king of Bavaria. Shock G 1963 Rapper. Ivan the Terrible 1530 Russian Tsar. Jeff Tweedy 1967 singer/songwriter Lead singer of Wilco. Tom Skerrit 1933 Actor. Allan Pinkerton 1819 North Western Police Agency Founder (US). Walt Kelly 1913 cartoonist (US). And Rob Halford who was born in Birmingham, Rob is of course that man from Judas Priest, if you want to find out more about him and his evergreen career you can clink the link HERE.
And don't forget! If you share the same birthday as the above mentioned - Please write to me and I'll post your story on this blog!!!
FOOTBALLING
If you can't play football -
just pick up the ball + run!
Shouting Uni-ted! round here is akin to swearing, perhaps worse, maybe these days you can actually be arrested/locked up for mouthing the offensive words. In Manchester, where I live and the city of my birth, there are two great football teams! City and City reserves! We are the Mancunians, The Blues! We play at The City of Manchester Stadium. There are other football clubs around the area including Stockport County, Bury FC, Oldham Athletic, Wigan Athletic, Altrincham Town, Timperley Bigshorts, Stalybridge Celtic and Bolton Wanderers. For the most part they are in walking distance of this keyboard, the rest I can cycle to if I had to. Then, there are the Destination Football grounds like Wembley Stadium 180 miles south of here and of course our near neighbour, situated just outside the city of Manchester boundary at Old Trafford is the Theatre of Dreams - Gold Trafford, where Manchester Uni-ted play to capacity crowds on a regular basis. However, I have only ever been there a handful of times, when my team City have been playing there. I am certainly not a supporter. However, a certain red rag blog has listed me as a new member, apparently because I mentioned that City had been knocked out of the FA cup a couple of weeks back. Well, thanks anyway, Manchester United Unofficial Supporters Thingy, for giving Properjoe's a link - but, please rescind my membership forthwith as it is a teeny-weeny-itsy-bitsy-diddy-bit EMBARRASSING!
StraightTalkingStreetTalkingSweet..
This week on my really bad poetry and even worse song lyrics blog STSTS.. I have posted the words to my daft performance piece entitled My Two String Violin! If you really want to sing along to it you just need to think Cliff Richard! Go and take a butchers and don't laugh at the mad photo on the previous posting. Anyway, I actually performed this piece at a community centre in Levenshulme, a few years ago. I've been looking at all the venues that Performance Poets can go to these days and it's pretty impressive. I really need to get out a bit more often myself, I'd love to do some of my newer stuff, someplace soon! I'll keep you posted. On the publishing front, I have news of two new publications for you. Suzanne Batty - twin sister to my Nicola, has her new Poetry Collection title listed on Amazon, you can order a copy! It's called The Barking Thing. Nicola herself, also has a new publication out this week, 50 Bites! which is a compilation of the first fifty editorials from her monthly Newsletter Raw Meat..
EAT-ON-DEMAND
Week nine and all is going well. I had hoped that eight weeks would be enough of this mad non-diet but unfortunately it's NOT! It looks like I'll have to go the full twelve weeks that I set aside, to reach my target weight. So, week nine and this crazy eating plan is getting easier by the day. Sometimes I really have to force myself to eat. Most mornings, I completely forget about food and find myself distracted by the jobs I am obliged to do. It is often noon or one pm when I have my first bite of the day. Othertimes I do feel peckish, mainly in the evenings after everybody else has eaten. The nature of this non-diet, allows me to eat when I like. It truely is an eat-on-demand-program! One thing I always make sure that I do, is to drink my four pints (min) of water every day. If I even miss one pint, I usually wake up in the night feeling really dehydrated. Water, really is, it seems, the kill or cure all commodity, in this life.
BIKE BITS, ZIGGY BIKE
I still want to build/buy a proper Ziggy bike so I/we can take Nic out cycling with us. Nic is confined to a wheelchair and she calls her wheelchair Ziggy. Hence the name Ziggy bike! I have figured out a basic design and now just need a donor mountain bike and a spare front wheel and a couple of lengths of threaded steel to attach the front forks of the mountain bike to the back of a Ziggy. Oh yes, that's the other thing I need a basic wheelchair that I can convert for the purpose. I am hopeful of finding most/all of the bike bits and the Ziggy on my local FreeCycle. However, if anybody does have a spare Ziggy bike for sale, I would certainly consider buying it!
FINALLY
THE MYSTERY SHOPPER!
I used to do a column called Consumer Girl! Where I used to beef about the price of cheese and complain about the state of the nations chip shops and stuff. Well Mystery Shopper is a bit more of the same old tripe, if you get my drift? I get really mad sometimes when illogical/irrational things occur in retail premises. For example, I was in my local Asda supermarket today and I needed a new strap for my watch. I went to the jewelery counter where I had previously purchased my watch from and asked the nice lady if I could see the watch straps Please? Sorry, said the nice lady, we don't sell watch straps! But you sell watches! I said. Oh yes, she replied, but we don't sell watch straps. That's crazy, I said, What do you do if you break your watch strap? You have to buy a new watch, said the nice lady. But the watch is fine, I just need a new strap for it! I told her again, but it was like talking to someone who couldn't hear. How mad is that? Surely if the jewelery section was a stand alone business it would be bankrupt by now! You can't treat paying customers like idiots! Wake up! Asda! You've just been blogged by The Mystery Shopper!
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